My Romantic Partner

Remember Tuesday’s post? The one about the 10 traits I look for in a romantic partner? Well. Dale read that list and said he was so pleased to see that he pretty much personified every thing on the list. I pointed out that he rarely, if ever, cooks for me. I went on to suggest that since I was working and he wasn’t that perhaps he could cook dinner on Tuesday night.

He agreed and then asked me what to make for dinner. I refused to give him any suggestions, telling him that figuring out what to make is the biggest part of the problem and that if I was going to have to do that then I might as well cook, too. He called me an hour later and asked again. And then he called again, saying that he was on his way to the grocery store and wondered what I wanted for dinner. I reminded him that I make dinner every night and I do the planning and shopping and cooking without harassing anyone. This point seemed lost on him since he then called me again – this time from the grocery store – and asked what to make.

I sighed heavily and told him to forget the whole thing and I’d just make dinner as usual.

tuesdays roses

He came home with a dozen roses. I’d still have preferred the dinner but at least he went for something on the list. And he promised to make dinner one night next week.

I never thought my knitting blog would be useful as a marital tool. Heh.

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This Post Has 40 Comments

  1. Oh my – laughing so hard. This is EXACTLY what D. does to me sometimes. “I want to help you with XYZ” “OK, then do XYZ” “How do I do this, and that, and the other?” “AAAARGH! I’ll just do it myself!”

    It is sweet that he tried at least -and the flowers are nice.

  2. How many times have we had this same conversation!? LOL
    Now I tell him what sort of things we have on hand and make suggestions…NOT menu plans. But all in all he’s pretty good about sharing 50/50 as long as I’m in the kitchen with him. They don’t seem to like to work alone.

  4. Hubby is an awesome cook but boy does he trash the kitchen when he cooks. I think I spend more time cleaning up after him that he does cooking! The roses are a nice touch, however.

  5. Gorgeous roses!

    My hubby doesn’t cook. sigh. His idea of cooking is cracking open a can or buying cold cuts…..

  6. We tried the DH making dinner one week early in our lives together. We ate out/had take-out 4 nights in a row, and I was so sick of it by then, I just gave up and took the task back over. 😛

  7. I remember when I let a man in my kitchen, I’m not too fond of cleaning the kitchen, I’d much rather cook, the mess was unreal and looked like a bomb had gone off with food all over the counters and backsplash plus the food inedible (though he really did try). The roses are beautiful (and quite romantic).

  8. I’m with the others who complain about the mess their men leave behind. I swear, what I can make with one bowl, one measuring cup, and one pan, takes hubby three times as much equipment, and gets spilled over the entire counter. Sigh.

  9. Some quiet day at the library, make a list of dinners Dale knows how to make, with subsets of key ingredients. Post it on the fridge as a reference….no excuses! Heh!

    Told you you’d get flowers!

  12. You guys want to send your hubbies over to my house and have the boy teach him how to cook? He grew up cooking with his granny and makes less of a mess than me. 😀 and his food is always delish. mmm 🙂

    Points to Dale for the flowers and the future meal!

  13. Happily, I’m married to a Virgo, so when he cooks, he actually cleans up, too, which was a boon this past year with the baby. Flowers are good, though. Perhaps mentioning a few dishes you like (and having Dale write them down somewhere?) would send him in the right direction.

  14. My guy made dinner last night. I planned, shopped, and even helped chop. But then he sent me off (to work on lace) and he sauteed, assembled, and did dishes. NOT the norm, but when I’ve had a rough day, he steps up. We have a couple of easy meal plans that are “his” for days when I work late. Knowing your love of flowers was thoughtful compensation. But come-on, Dale; give chili a try for next week!

  15. Wow, I’m so lucky! My husband cooks a lot and is an excellent cook, too! We time our burn-outs pretty well, by the time he’s tired of cooking, I’m ready to step in and vice versa.

    He very rarely brings me flowers, though!

  16. Too funny!

    My husband does cook pretty frequently during the week – or at least he figures out what we’ll have and assembles the ingredients and helps with the prep – as you point out, knowing what the plan is is way more than half the battle.

  17. That’s so funny. Bruce is that way too. Occasionally he can do dinner himself but usually I have to give so many stage directions that I might as well do it myself. Boys!

  18. I love Dan, and he does cook from time to time, but he gets oil everywhere! And uses every pot in the house to make a one-pot meal.

    Today, he’s off of work, and decided to ‘help’ at the laundrymat… it took longer with him ‘helping’ than if I went alone. But, I didn’t have to carry the basket, so that was a help. 🙂

  19. That would be the same problem I’d have. We’d probably end up with eggs for dinner.

    This reminds me that one of the reasons I like a certain local restaurant. They just cooks up something different every day and you get whatever they made (there are a few choices – it’s served sort of lunch-counter style). Part of the fun thing is that I don’t know what I’ll have until I get there. I always know what I’m going to have when I’m the one planning and cooking, of course. Larry hardly ever knows what he’s getting until he sits down to eat.

  20. So true – the hardest part is deciding what to make. If someone did that for me and maybe even assembled all the ingredients, then all that would be left for me to do is the fun part.

    My sister and dad have a great arrangement – they alternate weeks – each cooking for one week before passing it on to the other. And my dad really comes up with some great meals – I always eat well when we visit!

    Bristow is beautiful but I can’t wait to see your Flyingdales!

  23. Dale will figure it out. There’s always barbecue!

    My DH has a few meals he can make, spaghetti sauce and green salad, or just about anything on the grill. He makes a perfect pot of rice (not on his diet…), is good with marinades, salad dressings from scratch, and very good at shopping. He’s begun sending me links to recipes online, asking if I could alter this or that to fit his diet plan, then working with me in the kitchen. And he’s a Virgo so he cleans up after himself.

    He is, though, very uncertain. Dale’s asking over and over again is pretty standard. Experience will help. It usually works best to learn first how to make something you like, where you know the way the taste and texture should be. Preferably something (like chili — good idea!) where the ingredients aren’t too dear and you have time to add more spices or water. Cakes are nasty that way — get it right or feed it to the birds.

    How’s Dale at being a sous chef for you? I’ve been teaching DH which knife to use, when to crush garlic or mince it instead, and the basic phase change stuff like when to use melted butter or softened butter or chilled butter, and then there’s always the fun of oil/cocoa brownies (not on his diet but the phase changes are excellent kitchen chemistry). It is the same way I taught DD to cook, letting her do the prep until she was ready to take over stirring and eventually the planning aspects, too.

    DH’s dad and my dad are both great cooks, which helps. Alden’s a good role model, too. FIL just gave us a cooler of frozen salmon yesterday from a fishing trip PLUS recipes for DH to try and herbs from his garden.

    Wish Dale luck. Tell him that even master chefs have bad days where the cookies burn, and the trick is to try again. Does he have a little blank book for his recipes? Go look at Janine’s latest post (feral knitter).

  24. I had to laugh at Dale calling you repeatedly to ask what to cook. As someone else said, the key is 1, to make something he already likes (motivation and prior knowledge of the expected result), and B, practice, practice, practice.

  26. Was he hoping you would let him off the hook and make dinner yourself? I refuse Dale the Rock Star is that helpless. Although, he did do good with the roses.

    Hey Dale! Pot roast!

  29. My husband has taken to cooking dinner on Wednesday nights. I leave the girls with him and go to my LYS, so he’s got to cook or listen to the girls whine all night. ;o)

    I thought it would make things easier on me to have one night off, but it’s not turning out that way. Sure, I come home to a warm tasty dinner, (he cooks well) but I also come home to a disaster in my kitchen. Apparently, cleaning up the dinner is not part of the deal. I can’t really complain, though. It’s totally worth it to get a few hours of child-free knitting time.

  30. He gets an “A” for effort – my hubby only cooks breakfast on Sundays – he gets home too late during the week. Love the roses.

  32. That cracked me up. My husband does the same thing with the romance – has to be told how. E.g., he will write me a poem but only if I give him a word bank! That makes it a lot funnier but not nearly as romantic.

  36. A very cute story! You’re right, the cooking isn’t the hard part…the thinking and the planning are! At least you got roses out of the deal.

  37. Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I tell DH over and over it doesn’t matter what he cooks just plan it and cook it. It usually means we get elk-he shot it and by gum we’re gonna eat it! I wish he’d get the message that I’d rather cook and he could clean up because even when he cooks I ALWAYS clean up.

  38. Sweet that he wanted to do this (even if the completion didn’t happen YET). Sounds like he needs a list of about ten things to choose from for dinner.. I’d give him a choice of things like steak, chili, grilled chicken,spaghetti, etc…. and then a choice of side dishes liked baked potatoes, salad, fries etc…. AND, then pick a day (or two) of the week that are HIS to cook, and he can pick from his “list”.
    Although it would take a little time to write the list, and show him various recipes, the winning result would be dinner cooked by someone else a couple times per week.

    I suspect that men do not realize that selecting the meal is 90% of the battle!
    Glad you have such a nice guy, my friend.. give him a hug from all of us, just for “effort”

  39. I don’t know what it is, but Eric is exactly the same way. He thinks that dinner is all in the cooking, and is painfully oblivious of the planning involved. I mean, I spend at least an hour or two each weekend meal planning, list making, finding recipes, making sure the stuff I buy will be efficiently used, piggybacking ingredients etc. just to PREP to go to the grocery store. The thought of dinner dawns on Eric about 5 minutes before he wants to eat it. And if for some reason he’s making dinner, he thinks that whatever he needs to make it will magically be in the fridge.

    It has been 6 years, and he still doesn’t get it. But, then again, he’s still wonderfully impressed and appreciative every time I cook. So that’s nice.

    Anyway, I chuckled when I read this. I have so been there 🙂

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