Hello, friends. I’m trying to re-establish a routine and a very important part of my routine is writing this blog. I can’t think of a better time to jump back in than with Three On Thursday since I know several of you participate in this weekly exchange of ideas.
Today I’ve got three things you should do for someone who has experienced a traumatic event.
- Check in with them every day. It can be a text, a phone call, an email, whatever is easiest. Tell them you are thinking of them, ask them how they are, and (this one is key, I think) tell them there’s no need to respond. By doing this you are letting them know you care and are thinking about them but also that you aren’t putting any burden or responsibility on them to take care of you.
- Do something for them without asking. I had countless people say, let me know if there’s anything you need. That’s wonderful and I appreciate it very much. But even better were the people who just showed up. I had a friend drop off coffee and avocado toast from my favorite coffee shop. She didn’t ask, she just did it. And that was smart because the reality is that if she had asked I would have said no. Someone, and I still don’t know who, had a meal delivered from a local restaurant. Again, they didn’t ask. They just did it and it was a wonderful and thoughtful surprise. One day last week my sister-in-law Mary called me and said she was going for a walk and she wanted me to join her. She didn’t really ask, she made it pretty clear that she wasn’t going to let me decline. And oh boy did I want to say no but when I tried she insisted so I did it. And it was one of the best things I did all week. If you can’t think of anything specific you could always try saying, what can I do for you today? Providing a specific timeline is helpful when it comes to filling an immediate need.
- Send a card or a note. This seems like such a simple thing but it really means a lot to walk out to the mailbox and gather a stack of cards to read. Just knowing that someone cares enough to make that effort is huge.
As an update, we are doing well. Dale saw the surgeon on Tuesday and he said his leg is healing right as it should be. The Physical Therapist comes for the first time today. We are learning to adjust to his temporary mobility challenges and navigating new territory as we face the emotional fall out of this whole experience. I’ve said it before but I’m going to say it again because it means so much: the love, support, and compassion we have received from all of you is making a gigantic difference. Thank you.
Don’t forget to include your link if you wrote a post for this week. It’s good to be back.