Today, because I’ve been thinking a lot lately about advice, I’m going to share 3 pieces of advice. They are simple and to the point, as the best advice should be, but I think when taken to heart they can be really powerful.
- Everything is temporary. This is something I’ve focused on over and over again while meditating and it’s very true and very powerful to remember. You’re in pain? It’s temporary. You’re sad? It’s temporary. You’re joyful? Tired? Hungry? Stressed? It’s ALL temporary. Sure, some moods and situations last longer than others (I’m looking at you, grief) but every emotion, thought, situation, circumstance, will eventually change.
- Solve the problem. This is advice my therapist gave me once and it’s stuck with me ever since. It can be applied to just about everything. A very literal interpretation of this right now: my laptop docking station isn’t working right at the moment and I’m working to solve the problem. But it’s also useful when it comes to relationships and plans and so much more. When things feel overwhelming I tell myself, solve the problem. It really simplifies most situations.
- Be kind, especially to yourself. I think I’m pretty good at being kind to other people. I send flowers, I tip generously, I text when someone is on my mind, I let people know I care. When it comes to myself, however, kindness tends to be harder to manifest. That voice in my head? She’s a bitch, people, and she knows just what to say to cut me down all.the.time. I’m working on it and trying to get her to be more kind to me.
That’s my advice for you this Thursday. Do you have simple advice and mantras you say to yourself regularly? I’d love to hear them in the comments!
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Interesting! I know the first one is true, but have struggled for a long time with acceptance of things being temporary, and I’m not sure I’m very good at the last one. The second one really hangs me up, as I tend to get mired in finding solutions. Three good and simple pieces of advice, but not easy!
Such great pieces of advice, Carole. I think the “everything is temporary” thing is so, so true . . . and so hard for most of us to practice in our lives. Keep working to silence that bitch-voice in your head. Because . . . she is so very wrong all.the.time. XOXO
Excellent advice! Especially the “everything is temporary” bit… it allows you to re-focus on what is important. (Oh, and that voice… I have worked this year on ignoring it! And it is starting to work!!)
I worked at a high powered advisory firm, which is partially customer service. One skill I learned when clients were being problematic was to just remind myself, “At least I’m not married to him/her.” I had it written on a 3×5 card and could just pull it out and lean it against my phone when it was a frustrating phone call. It was surprisingly effective.
I think that first one is such a good bit of advice. Even the hardest things can be easier to get through when you remember that they can’t and won’t last forever. As to the third, I’d say it’s probably true for most of us that we’re the hardest on ourselves, even when we really make the effort to be kind to others. We know our own weaknesses better than anyone else and how to hurt ourselves the most. I constantly have to remind myself that I need to include me in “everyone” when I say to be kind to everyone!
Love this! Such wisdom.
I like all three bits of advice but number 3 is very hard to accomplish. If you have the slightest knick in your self esteem, she will find you. I’m trying to keep her deep in the background (I know she will never shut up) by starting each day with a positive attitude. It’s a work in process.
You take good care of us Carole. Thank-you for this.
I find comfort in reminding myself every day that all things will pass. I think the Buddhist philosophy about this is the most instructive, and reading about it has helped me immensely to make peace with it. I think most of us find this most useful in hard times, but it is very useful to remember it in good times. It enhances presence and joy for me. This, too shall pass!
I have trouble with #2 even though I am someone who likes to solve issues immediately. I often get bogged down in researching solutions. I need to work on the “good enough” acceptance of solutions.
I think #3 is difficult for most women. We are taught to care for others, but not ourselves. My therapist called it the “witch in my head” which helps me not to own her. She is not the real me! I think one of the things I try to think about daily is how fortunate I am, even when things are bad. I am a work in progress on daily gratitude. My mother always told me to remember that “she cried because she had no shoes until she saw a man who had no feet”. Thanks for these reminders of how to increase joy in my daily life.
Great advice. I need to heed it.
Great 3! My comment on #2 is to remember you can only solve your own problems and advice given to others should only be given if asked for because people have to be ready to hear advice from others. Kind of leading a horse to water, but can’t make them drink. We only hear or can act on the things we are ready for. 🙂
And very Excellent advise too!