Dale and I were married twenty-five years ago today. It’s our silver anniversary and it truly feels like a milestone. And, while I can distinctly remember thinking that we’d be old if we made it to the 25 year mark, now that it’s here I have to say that I don’t feel one bit . . . older . . . than I did on our wedding day. I feel wiser. I feel more confident. I feel respected and seen and heard and loved. But not older.
I don’t recall anyone ever asking me what the secret to our marriage is, although I know there are people who observe us with awe and envy, who remark on the joy we find in each other, who say that they want what we have. My only advice for anyone joining their life with another, is to find a partner who makes you laugh. Find that person who can turn a tense or difficult moment around, who can do something silly to lighten the mood, and (probably most important of all) can make you laugh at yourself.
Why is this my advice? Because things are going to go wrong. The car is going to break down. The kids are going to get sick in the middle of the night. The job you thought was secure is going to come to an abrupt end. Family and friends are going to die, often unexpectedly. Someone might even . . . ahem . . . get hit by a car. And when all of those things happen you need someone by your side who can help you get through it, who can make you see the humor, who can help you find your joy again.
Dale does all of that for me and so much more. He is my rock and my helper, the person who listens to all of my stories (even the ones he has heard over and over again), my sous chef, garden assistant and bartender, and he loves me with every fiber of his being.
There’s a song from The Sound of Music called Something Good and I’ve thought about it so often since I fell in love with Dale and he fell right back in love with me. The lines go:
for here you are, standing there loving me,
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth of childhood
I must have done something good
I don’t know what I did to deserve the love I have from this man but I sure am glad I did it.
Happy 25th Anniversary to my huckleberry friend, the kindest and most loving man I know, my Dale.