Joining in with Kat and my fellow knitters and readers this week. I didn't make…
Read With Us: The Friend Discussion Day
It’s time to discuss and reflect on our summer Read With Us book (and movie!) The Friend by Sigrid Nunez. I initially read this book back in 2019 and re-read it last week. Dale and I watched the movie Sunday night.
What’s interesting to me is how differently these two versions of the same story can feel. For me, the book was very much about grief and the narrator’s emotional journey, while the movie felt like it focused more on the dog and the companionship he provided.
That got me thinking — if you were pitching The Friend to someone, how would you describe it?
Imagine you’re recommending The Friend to someone who hasn’t read the book or seen the movie. How would you describe each version, the book and the movie, in a way that would encourage them to read or watch it? Would your description be the same for both, or different? How did the differences between the book and the movie shape your experience with each?
For me, I felt like the book was very much a story of grief and navigating the loss of a dear friend. The movie, however, felt like more of a story about a dog and how the dog becomes a vital part of the main character’s life. I really liked both the book and the movie and for very different reasons.
I hope you’ll share your thoughts in the comments and I encourage you to come to our Zoom discussion tonight as well. And please check out the posts that Bonny and Kym have written for today where they each have their own questions about the book and/or the movie.
Let’s make way for another successful Read With Us experience!
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I would describe the book as a stream-of-consciousness journey through a difficult grief. I think it’s complicated by the fact that the narrator’s dear friend has committed suicide, and that always leaves unanswerable questions. In the book, the narrator uses bits from writers and books, her teaching, and of course, the dog to navigate her grief. As far as the movie, I’ll have to answer that tonight because I’m just watching it now!
I have to admit that I didn’t really like the book all that much, but I think that’s primarily because I listened rather than reading with my eyes, and I don’t think that’s the best way to read this book (it wouldn’t have been my first choice, but it was the only way to read it via the library in time for the discussion). I actually still have to finish the movie (I’ve got about 20 minutes left), but I’m enjoying it a lot more than the book. Maybe it’s seeing the characters, including the dog? Maybe it’s the shift in focus? Maybe it’s the fact that the characters (other than Apollo) have names and it’s easier for me to keep track of them? Hard to say.
I felt like the movie and the book were basically two separate entities, each with a different focus. I am not sure how I would recommend the book… I did not care for it either time I read it. The movie… well, if you are a dog lover, I think you might enjoy the antics of Apollo (he is, imo, the best thing about the movie).
Neither the book nor the movie appealed to me…I found them both rather boring. (I managed to stay awake during the movie, but I’m pretty sure Fletch dozed off – lol) I do agree that the movie was much more about the dog than the book was. I guess, bottom line, I would not be pitching the book or the movie to anyone. But, I’m still looking forward to our Zoom time this evening – who knows? Maybe my mind will be changed!
Well . . . I loved the book and I liked the movie. (After a relatively slow start, I thought the movie was very charming. But definitely more about the dog!) I have described this book many times since I first read it back in 2019 as one of the best books about grief I’ve ever read. It covers so many KINDS of grief — the grief of losing a very close friend, obviously, but also the added complication of losing someone you love to suicide (which muddies the waters so very much). There’s also the grief of questioning your chosen profession — and what it even means in a changing world. And, of course, there’s the grief of watching your beloved dog age and come to the end of his life. There’s just so much THERE there.
So after (trying to) describe the book, I usually offer a caveat . . . because the book is not for every reader. I think one needs to be reflective and comfortable with a lot of “meandering,” okay with the lack of named characters and regular punctuation, and ready for a deep read about someone’s grief journey if you’re going to enjoy this book.
The movie? Less deep; less subtle; and – in the end – a charmer.
This is a coincidence, since I didn’t realize this book was your discussion pick. I didn’t read it but I just watched the movie last week! To me, the main story was her developing relationship with the dog and I felt the movie didn’t go into the relationship of the friends before his death enough. Make any sense? I thought the movie was well acted but depressing. I think I need to watch it again and read the book for comparison.
I loved the book even more reading it a 2nd time, in fact it is probably one of my all time favorite books! I did enjoy the movie, but the book caused me to reflect deeply on friendship, loss, grief, and our reaction to friends who are grieving. I look forward to our discussion!
I didn’t really like the book, it was ok. For a short book, it just seemed to drag a lot for me and I had to push to get through it. I ran out of time so didn’t watch the movie. Someday I probably will.