It’s Thanksgiving week so it’s only natural that gratitude is on my mind. I’ve kept a gratitude journal since August 2019. That’s 456 days of sitting down first thing in the morning (while my coffee brews, in fact) and writing down 5 things I am grateful for.

It generally takes the shape of 5 things from the previous day and sometimes it feels like I’m just writing down daily highlights . . . the best things that happened on a given day. I’m not always certain that’s a true expression of gratitude but there’s nothing wrong with being grateful for good things that happen. Plus, my gratitude journal . . . my rules.

The things I’ve written down are as simple as birds singing outside my window, as lighthearted as watching Jackie dance, and as profound as the day after Dale’s accident when I simply sat at my table and wrote, 5 times over . . . Dale is alive. Flipping back through the pages of my journals sparks memories and moments that I wouldn’t ordinarily spend time recalling and I am very glad I have a place to go where I’ve gathered these memories together.

If you’re the journaling sort I encourage you to give this a try . . . and what better time to start than Thanksgiving? I believe expressing gratitude makes us happy, makes us present, and makes us aware. It’s a good way to live, friends.

You know what’s on my mind this morning? Sleep. As in, Sunday night sleep. I struggle with it and I’m not sure exactly why. Last night was better than most but there was still a fair amount of awake time in the wee hours, my thoughts on overdrive.

I’m not alone in this struggle. Sunday night sleep problems . . . dubbed Sunday-somnia . . . are a real thing that many struggle with and it’s related to . . . wait for it . . . anxiety. Of course. Some studies I read mentioned that it’s anxiety related to a difficult commute or Monday morning meetings but neither of those are issues for me. I actually have a job that I enjoy and find satisfying so returning to work shouldn’t be anxiety producing for me.

And yet, I’m pretty sure it is. I’ve ruled out the other typical reasons for Sunday-somnia: having different sleep cycles on the weekends (I don’t), drinking more on the weekends (I don’t), taking naps (I don’t), so yeah. It’s anxiety related to the start of the week. My therapist and I discussed this recently and she thinks it’s related to me having to give up my freedom when Monday rolls around. I think she’s on to something there, frankly, because I truly value and appreciate having whole days to myself to do whatever I want at whatever time I want.

The reality is that retirement is still 6 years away for me so daily freedom isn’t coming any time soon. I don’t have any good answers yet on how I can mitigate the anxiety and sleep better on Sunday nights but rest assured . . . it’s on my mind.

I expect you know what’s on my mind this Monday: the election. Now, this is not a political blog . . . but it is a blog about my life and I can’t not talk about this here. And yet, I’m struggling with what to say. I feel elated and relieved about the results and also concerned about the divisiveness I see over them. I’m not surprised at that, the current administration has pushed for this all along, but I’m ready for something different. I’m ready for a Comforter in Chief . . . a President who talks to me and makes me feel better. As we waited for Vice President Elect Kamala Harris to take the stage Saturday night I was watching the jumbotrons and they were flashing these words:

empathy

unity

hope

And I felt as if cool rain was washing down on me, clearing away the vitriol and cruelty, and ushering in light and love. I listened to their speeches about the soul of America, about protecting democracy, about listening to each other and finding common ground, and I felt a glimmer of optimism and a spark of joy. I laughed and cried and released a whole lot of pent up emotions. I know that reconciliation is dubious. That many Americans feel the opposite of what I’m feeling. But I think we can heal that by disagreeing respectfully, by listening carefully, and by working together.

It’s time.

I think you know what’s on my mind this Monday. And I’m betting it’s the same thing that’s on your mind, too. The election. More specifically, in my case anyway, election anxiety.

Guess what? It’s a real thing and it’s got a name: Election Stress Disorder. And, while the good news is that all those political ads will go away after tomorrow, the bad news is we may not have results for a while. We’re going to have to wait it out and, as the song goes, the waiting is the hardest part.

Here are some ways I am coping with my feelings right now.

I’ve been avoiding the national news for a week now. This is tough on Dale because he is a news junkie but for me it helps to just not pay attention at this point in the process. I’m also limiting my time on social media a lot. I’ve hidden so many people that it feels like it’s all business posts and ads these days anyway! Just to clarify, it’s not that I can’t cope with opinions that are different than mine, it’s more that I don’t think social media is the place for productive discourse when it comes to hot topics.

I’m journaling and meditating and moving. I write in my gratitude journal every morning while my coffee brews and I have a bigger journal that I write in a few times a week. Meditation is my regular anxiety coping strategy and I’m currently on a 435 day streak. A walk around the yard when I’m home or a walk around the library when I’m at work is a great way to clear my head and get the blood flowing and release some endorphins.

I’m also using a lot of the essential oil blend Stress Away.

And I’m sharing my feelings with all of you and that always helps.

Stay the course, my friends, we will get through this.

It’s Monday. Here’s some stuff on my mind this week.

When a tragedy occurs . . . a death in a family, an accident, a terminal diagnosis . . . it’s human nature to say something along the lines of: let me know what I can do to help or I’m here if you need anything. And I think that’s great. But if you say it, if you offer, if someone follows up and asks for help . . . please make sure you do what you said you would do. I am very very grateful for all of the help we got after Dale’s accident. People were wonderful and they did things we asked them to do, like helping fill the bird feeders, and also things we didn’t ask for, like dropping off coffee and treats and even dinner. But there were also people who said the words let me know what I can do and then we told them and then they didn’t follow through. And there were people who never offered, people we thought we could count on, and . . . crickets. Now. I realize I could potentially sound ungrateful and that’s not my intention here at all. I know how fortunate we are to have wonderful family and friends who went above and beyond over and over again. My point in writing about this is to serve as a lesson for you. If you are someone who offers to help a friend with a big chore (or even a little one, for that matter) please make sure you follow through with that. If you don’t, your friend will be left wondering why you didn’t. They will be hurt and let down and they might question your feelings about them and maybe even your integrity. Don’t be the person who makes a promise and then doesn’t keep it. Rather, be the person who shows up with coffee and treats, be the person who keeps the promise. And, if for some reason you can’t keep that promise because life happens, then be the person who explains why it’s not possible, be the person who apologizes for dropping the ball, and then (if you can) offer to do something else.

Whew. I’m glad I got that off my chest because what I really need is to let this go. To focus on all of the good that our people did and to forget the tiny few who didn’t show up. And to remember all of this next time I say the words: let me know what I can do.

And I think that’s quite enough for a Monday morning.