Here’s a little bit of a throwback to June and our vacation in Maine. This was our view every night and it was peaceful and wonderful and so absolutely restful.
I hope your weekend is all of those things and more! Happy, happy!
I had such a different post planned for today. I was going to talk about that picture, the one of me in 6th grade wearing a pantsuit. And I was going to say that the dreams I had at 12 years old, the dream of equal pay and equal opportunities in the workplace, of the right to control my body, the dream of giving a presentation without being talk over by a man, the dream of thinking that I could be anything I wanted to be, including president some day, I thought today I would be saying that all of those dreams were finally in reach. I thought I would be celebrating that pantsuit and those big big dreams. I thought I would be saying that America finally viewed women as equal.
But I’m not.
Instead, I’m waking up feeling sad and confused and betrayed. I’ll be perfectly frank and tell you that I cried a lot last night. I cried as I hugged my daughter and apologized to her that we didn’t get it right this time. As I realized in my heart that women are still not equal and are held to much different scrutiny than men. I cried myself to sleep thinking about all those women putting their I VOTED stickers on Susan B. Anthony’s grave stone yesterday. And I’ve shed some tears this morning, too.
I know that we have a system of checks and balances. I know that I should look at this as an opportunity to talk about the hatred and divisiveness within our country. I know that it’s my responsibility to speak out against misogyny and lies but right now? Right now I’m shocked and sad and tired.
My daughter told me last night that none of this is my fault. She told me that I set a great example as a feminist and that I raised her to be a strong feminist and that some day we will see a woman as president of our country. And, while I love her enthusiasm and optimism, I still feel like I have let her down, just as this country has let me down and shown me, once again, that because I have breasts and a vagina, I’m just not worthy of the really important stuff.
You all know that I rarely (if ever) get political on this blog. It’s just not my thing to do here and I don’t enjoy doing it now but I think you also know that I process my feelings through writing and right now I’m having some very big feelings that need to be processed. I know that some of you reading this disagree with me – obviously – since the majority of this country voted differently than I did. I will just say that I ask you to respect my feelings, to respect the sadness I feel, and to leave any negative comments you may have to yourselves. I just can’t handle them today.
Instead, take a look again at the picture of me at 12. And remember the dreams we all had at that age. And reflect on how we can make those dreams come true for the 12 year old girls of today.
When I was a kid I went to sleep away summer camp. The first year I went I was terrified and begged my mother not to make me go. And then when they came to pick me up after a week I hid behind a tree because I didn’t want to go home. So, I guess you could say that I loved going to camp and that go me thinking that this could be a Ten On Tuesday topic: 10 Things I loved About Summer Camp.
Did you go to summer camp? If you wrote a post for today I hope you’ll add your link below so everyone can find it and read it. And, as always, if you’d like to join in the Ten On Tuesday fun, please click here to subscribe to the weekly email.
I’ve been blogging for a long time now and I’m not about to tell you anything new when I say that the one thing that I never expected to happen – but also the thing I love most about my blogging – is that I made real life friends. I guess it’s what happens when you basically read someone’s diary 5 days a week for 10 years or more – you get to know them and, if you’re really really fortunate – you get to meet them in real life and tell stories in person with laughs instead on computer screens with words. All of this is just a prelude to say that Dale and I went to hang out with Kym and Tom and it was wonderful.
They opened their home to us and welcomed us like family. And we had such a great time! We did so many things, way too many to cover in this one blog post, so I’m just going to do a quick and dirty list of all it, and then I’ll cover the specifics in the days to come.
I’ve got lots more to tell you, including about our days in Chicago, but for now this will have to suffice. Other than this – I have to go on just a little more here – and say that having imaginary friends turn into real life friends is an incredible thing. Being able to travel to new places and see new things because of those friends makes me feel unbelievably fortunate. I guess what I’m trying to say is that these are the connections that make a big cold world a cozy corner full of friends instead.
Well. Except here I am. Posting.
But I’m only posting to tell you that I’m not posting. I hope that makes as much sense to you as it does to me.
See you tomorrow.