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My Peloton Story

March 3, 2021 By Carole

Friends, it’s time I told you my Peloton story. It starts last August, at the beach. I was there with my family and everyone was doing their beach thing, hanging out, swimming, and just generally enjoying themselves. The kids were moving around and having fun, trying the stand-up paddle board, going out in kayaks, walking back and forth from the house to the beach with different toys and snacks. As this was happening all around me . . . I sat. I had a book and I was reading. And sitting. I wasn’t unhappy about that, I love reading at the beach, but it bothered me that I felt physically uncomfortable with exerting myself, that it wasn’t quite right that I felt ill prepared to do anything other than sit and read.

Later that week I went wedding dress shopping with Hannah and Doreen, who is not only my best friend but also Hannah’s godmother. The shop is lovely and in a very old building. And the dresses are up on the third floor. And there is no elevator. I managed, but I got pretty out of breath and I had to stop and rest partway up. It was a little embarrassing but I laughed it off. At lunch, after Hannah selected an incredibly spectacular gown that Doreen bought for her (I know! Right?!) I looked at my daughter and my best friend and I shared with them that I knew something had to change about my lifestyle. I had, as it were, a moment of truth. I confessed how I had felt sitting on the beach watching everyone else move about with confidence and feeling like my own body wasn’t up to doing any of that. I admitted to being mortified that I couldn’t climb the stairs of the shop without having to rest. I looked at them both and said, what do I do?

Almost in the same breath they both said: you need to find exercise you enjoy. I responded the way I always have: I hate exercise. But Hannah persisted and said there had to be something. So I thought for a moment and I said, the only thing I ever really enjoyed was spin class. To which they both responded, practically in unison and as if they had rehearsed it: you should get a Peloton! I told them they were crazy, that Peloton bikes were too spendy and I didn’t have room in my house and I wasn’t going to be a piece of exercise equipment that I’d never use and we moved on to doing important things like ordering champagne.

Later that day, though, I started doing some research on at-home exercise bikes. There are several that are much less expensive than the Peloton and I began comparing them all. The thing I kept coming back to, though, was my feeling that the Peloton was the best. And I sort of have this thing about wanting to have the best. I pretty much decided right then that if I were to purchase something it was going to be a Peloton. I reached out to Kym, knowing she had one, and asked about the size of the bike and we started a conversation that, truthfully, continues to this day. We went back and forth for a bit, I talked with Dale, we rearranged the furniture in our little den to make sure it would fit . . . and I ordered the Peloton the next day.

And then the waiting began because, as Kym pointed out to me immediately, it takes weeks or even months to get a Peloton right now. In my particular circumstance, I ordered it on August 28th and my delivery was scheduled for October 20th. And that Kym . . . she’s a crafty one because her first question to me, after I told her my delivery date, was what are you going to do in the meantime? She recognized that my motivation in that moment was high and I needed to take advantage of it. Luckily, Peloton gives you free access to their app while you wait for the bike. And luckily, there are some really great classes for strength training and stretching and yoga and more. And, not to overuse the word, but luckily I had Kym to encourage me.

The first thing she did was make me stop using the word exercise and start using the word move. As someone who hated gym class, was never good at sports, and always preferred reading over physical activity, I definitely have a block when it comes to the concept of exercise. The second thing she did was encourage me to use my Apple Watch as a tool for tracking my movement and holding me accountable. That has worked particularly well for me as I’m someone who enjoys tallying my accomplishments. The third thing she did was patiently explain things like cardio and stretching and strength training and she helped me work out a plan to do all of those things on a regular basis. We quickly established that I needed to have 30 minutes of movement every day to really set myself up for success. Taking a day off just wouldn’t have worked for me and I’m pretty sure I would have lost my mojo and I wouldn’t be able to brag right now about it being nearly 200 consecutive days that I’ve closed the rings on my Apple Watch.

That’s a very long lead up to the actual arrival of the bike! But arrive it did, right on schedule, and I started riding that very night. Not to sound like a commercial but, the instructors are amazing and encouraging, the variety of music is fantastic, and there are so many types of rides that there’s no chance of being bored. My goal is to ride 4 times/week and I’ve been pretty good at meeting that for the last 20 weeks. In fact, I’m closing in on my 100th ride, a milestone known as the Century Ride in the Peloton community. On the days that I don’t ride, I do yoga or stretching or strength training. And as weird as it sounds . . . I love that damn bike. Don’t get me wrong: it’s hard! But it’s a good hard. I sweat and huff and puff and even swear. Some days I can’t wait to ride and other days I have to really force myself to just.do.it. But I’m always glad when I do. I said to Kym recently that cardio strips away the gunk of life and I think that’s so true. When you’re in the moment and feel like your lungs are shredding and your legs are going to fall off, it’s impossible to think about anything else and that’s incredibly freeing. There’s just no way to be anything but present in the midst of a good, hard cardio work out.

I feel like I need to say something here about weight loss because for many people the purpose of exercising is to lose weight. And that’s cool and I wish them well. But that’s not what this journey is about for me. I could write whole blog posts about the dangers of diet culture and the brutality of fat shaming and the prevalence of fat bias in the medical community. For the purpose of this post, though, I’ll just say that my story is about accepting my body and making it stronger and healthier and that has zero to do with the numbers on a scale or the size of the clothes I wear. Rather, it has everything to do with my brain and the things I say to myself. I’m fighting years of believing I’m not worthy of anything good in my life because of childhood trauma, years of calling myself unlovable, unworthy, and unhealthy because that’s all I thought I deserved. It’s been one hell of a journey to get to the point where I can feel a little pride about my body and how hard it can work instead being ashamed by the size of it.  I ride the Peloton to improve my cardio health. I do yoga to improve my balance. I lift weights to strengthen my body. And if I never lose so much as an ounce I’m absolutely fine with that because my resting heart rate has dropped significantly since last October. And those stairs at the bridal salon? I climbed them last Thursday and yes, I was winded, but I didn’t have to stop and rest and I recovered within moments.

Buying a Peloton has been a huge change in my lifestyle and I feel so good about it. Now when I sit on the couch and read, (which is and always will be what I’d rather be doing) I feel like I’ve earned it. And that feels way different than how I felt last August, back when I felt like my only option was to sit and read because I wasn’t capable of anything more. Looking back, though, I’m grateful for that day on the beach. I’m grateful for that feeling that something wasn’t quite right. I’m grateful for the seed that was planted in that moment because that seed has been watered and nurtured and cared for, not just by me but by Dale and Hannah and the rest of my family. And by Kym (and her husband, Tom, too), who has encouraged and supported and occasionally even cajoled me to believe in myself, to stick with this plan, and to literally change how I think about my place in this world and the space I take up. I know I’m the one doing the hard work. I know I’m the one changing my story. I’m just so glad I get to do it with these amazing people cheering me on.

Filed Under: That's Life 29 Comments

Get Your Take Out

February 17, 2021 By Carole

I read an article in The Boston Globe yesterday that was captioned with an image that said getting take out these days is our civic duty. I’m not sure I’d go so far as to compare take out with voting but I agree that it’s important.

In the early days of the pandemic, nearly a year ago now, we treated our kids to take out every Wednesday. Why Wednesday? Because that was the night we traditionally had them over for dinner and we suddenly couldn’t do that. So I would place and pay for the order for them and they would go get it. Now when we do get together we tend to get take out. It’s a treat for me to not have to cook and everyone gets to have their favorite.

Sometimes Dale and I get take out for ourselves, as well. When the weather was warm we regularly took a drive somewhere pretty, picking up food from somewhere on the way, and then we would have a car picnic. I now keep a picnic basket in the car and it’s stocked with paper plates, napkins, plastic utensils, salt & pepper, and wet naps.

Our local options were generally fairly limited to pizza but over the last several months the restaurants have adapted and even the swankiest places now offer take out. My tip for cold weather? Turn on the oven and heat up your plates and then when the food arrives put it on your own plates. It will not only look better but it will stay hotter for far longer.

I miss indoor dining. I miss spontaneously stopping somewhere for a drink and an appetizer. I miss lingering over a drink, meeting new people, chatting with the bartender. But until those things feel comfortable for me again I will be getting take out. I hope you will, too.

Filed Under: That's Life 12 Comments

Weekending

February 16, 2021 By Carole

I think a long weekend, particularly one that includes Valentine’s Day, deserves a recap. We didn’t go anywhere but it was full of love and some really good food.

Love showed up on Friday afternoon when Jackie arrived. We watched Cars, his favorite movie, and we baked cinnamon muffins. He looks so much like his mama these days it sort of blows my mind.

Saturday was a great day for relaxing with books and knitting and just hanging out at home. We got sushi for dinner as a special treat for Valentine’s Day. It was delicious and our local sushi restaurant now offers online ordering so I don’t even have to talk to anyone. I call that a win!

I spent Sunday in the kitchen making cream puffs. It’s a long standing family tradition and even though it took all afternoon it was worth it for the smile it brings to Dale’s face.

This photo is also a great illustration of why I say plaid is his favorite color.

I also made spaghetti and meatballs for the first time. This is on my 21 in 2021 list and it’s one of Dale’s favorite meals and it’s red so . . . Valentine’s Day seemed like the perfect time to give it a whirl. It was easy and I have no idea why I was so intimidated by the process. I used this recipe from Food Network and I will definitely be making them again.

Monday, much like Saturday, was all about relaxing. More reading. More knitting. More television together in the evening. It was lovely.

I hope you had a great weekend, too, full of all the things you love.

Filed Under: That's Life 12 Comments

Around Here

February 9, 2021 By Carole

How about a random gathering of thoughts and things that are happening around here?

Reading: Memorial by Bryan Washington

Knitting: Pink Socks. And The Shift.

Watching: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. And reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond when I need to just veg.

Playing: Tetris. Way too much Tetris.

Missing: My blogversary. Yep, it was January 31 and I forgot to post about it. 16 years of Carole Knits, can you believe it?

Considering: What do to about our current heat situation. We need to replace our furnace but aren’t sure whether to stick with oil or change to natural gas. At the same time we are thinking it might be time to remove our beloved wood stove and convert to a gas log fireplace. Doing that opens up a whole lot of options for our living room . . . demolishing the big brick hearth, determining if we can open up a closed fireplace front and chimney for a gas insert, or even just converting that to a traditional wood burning fireplace and putting baseboard heat in this room. And all of that means new flooring and sheet rock. It’s a lot, and every component comes from a different sort of expert or vendor. Decision fatigue is keeping me from moving forward on this.

Taking: iPhone photos ever day. The 100 Day Project has been a good catalyst for getting me back in the habit of taking photos and I’m getting to know the iPhone 12 in the process. I’ve interspersed a few of my favorites throughout this post.

Growing: Herbs in an Aerogarden. Kym posted about getting one and I contemplated it for about half a second before I ordered one myself. The basil and dill are sprouting already!

Appreciating: The lack of drama that has taken hold when it comes to politics. I realize this may change with the start of the impeachment trial but seriously, I love getting up in the morning and not finding half a dozen upsetting updates from the NY Times on my phone.

Baking: with Jackie on Friday afternoons. So far we have made banana bread (his favorite, I think), brownies, and chocolate chip cookies. I think this week we may try muffins. He loves to help in the kitchen, adding ingredients, and he puts his little hand on my arm to “help” me when I do everything from stirring to measuring. It’s adorbs.

Filed Under: Random, That's Life

Hello, February

February 1, 2021 By Carole

I love when the first day of the month falls on a Monday, don’t you? It’s the perfect clean slate.

Today we welcome the possibility of February.

February is Black History Month, perhaps making is a time to reflect on our work with anti-racism.

February is American Heart Month, a time to wear read and maybe recommit to heart healthy movement and eating.

February brings us Valentine’s Day, an opportunity to celebrate all the ways love shows up for us every day, through partners, friends, neighbors, colleagues, family, pets, and more.

February, when extra kind, sometimes delivers the first signs of spring in the form of snow drops and crocus and other tender green things shooting up from the earth.

February gives those of us in the public sector a Monday holiday, a welcome respite.

February 1st is a chance to honor our pagan ancestors and celebrate imbolc, a time when the hardest part of the year was over and preparations for spring began. A time to burn candles in every room, keep the fire going all night long, and make space for new beginnings and possibilities. One popular feeling of the time was that bad weather on imbolc meant good weather in the summer. Given that we’re getting hit with a nor-easter today and tomorrow I’m embracing that omen whole heartedly.

What are you embracing this February?

Filed Under: That's Life

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Aerogarden is doing it’s thing, I’m hoping for Aerogarden is doing it’s thing, I’m hoping for an herb harvest soon! #the100dayproject #100daysofiphonephotos #aerogarden #growingherbsindoors #dill #parsley
I didn’t order groceries today so our snacks are I didn’t order groceries today so our snacks are from the larder, summer sausage, Swiss cheese, some crackers and hardboiled eggs. Even without the fancy snacks I’m still celebrating that the weekend is here! Happy FriYay! #fridaynightsnacks #happyfriyay #martinitime #cocktailhourathome #cheeseandcrackers
Ms. Pajama Party amaryllis is definitely having he Ms. Pajama Party amaryllis is definitely having her moment. #amaryllis #pajamapartyamaryllis #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject
Has it really been a week since I posted here? Who Has it really been a week since I posted here? Whoops! Let’s catch up! I’ll start by sharing this photo of my Pajama Party amaryllis, she’s in bloom right now and she’s a stunner. #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #pajamapartyamaryllis #amaryllis #winterblooms #whiteflowerfarm
Pictured here: 8 of the 48 cream puffs I made for Pictured here: 8 of the 48 cream puffs I made for Valentine’s Day for my family. One batch was a bust, pretty sure that was my mother-in-law saying hello from heaven (she always said one batch always fails) but the others were some of the best I’ve ever made. You may say Happy Valentine’s Day but around here it’s Cream Puff Day! #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #creampuffs #creampuffday #familytradition #homemadeisbest #whippedcreamfordays #thanksruthie
Sushi for Valentine’s Day! #100daysofiphonephot Sushi for Valentine’s Day!  #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #sushidinner #tatamieastbridgewaterma #welovesushi #takeoutforthewin #supportyourlocalrestaurants #eastbridgewaterma #valentinesdaydinnerathome
I love this little face! #100daysofiphonephotos #t I love this little face! #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #attaboyjack #nanalife #fridayswithjackie #lookslikehismama
Jackie teaching his Grampa how to use the iPad! #1 Jackie teaching his Grampa how to use the iPad! #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #attaboyjack #nanalife #grampalife #whosteachingwho
Sunrise and snowy trees. #100daysofiphonephotos #t Sunrise and snowy trees. #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #snowysunrise #inmybackyard #winterinnewengland
Cold and snowy outside, warm and cozy inside, make Cold and snowy outside, warm and cozy inside, makes for a perfect Sunday afternoon. #snowdaysunday #warmandcozy #wintertrees #twinklelights #mycozyhome #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #rustyandingrid
Favorite spot to spend an afternoon reading. #the1 Favorite spot to spend an afternoon reading. #the100dayproject #100daysofiphonephotos #readingspot #mycozyhome
An old favorite this Friday, triscuits with melted An old favorite this Friday, triscuits with melted cheese and green pepper. It’s the first snack Dale ever made for me, almost 25 years ago now. #fridaynightsnacks #martinitime🍸 #helloweekend #triscuitsandcheese #thosenapkinsthough #cocktailhourathome
Sailors, take warning. #the100dayproject #100dayso Sailors, take warning. #the100dayproject #100daysofiphonephotos #februarysunrise #sailorstakewarning #redskyatmorning #outmybackdoor
Silly faces are all Nana gets these days! #100days Silly faces are all Nana gets these days! #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #attaboyjack #nanalife
It makes my heart happy to know that my father-in- It makes my heart happy to know that my father-in-law got his second COVID vaccine at the VA today! I guess from his reading material he’s now making plans to cruise America! #covidvacccinedone☑️
This Velvet Nymph amaryllis was definitely worth w This Velvet Nymph amaryllis was definitely worth waiting for, she’s stunning. #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #amaryllis #velvetnymph #whiteflowerfarm
A snowy day calls for my favorite boots, I’ve ha A snowy day calls for my favorite boots, I’ve had these since 1988 and they are still going strong. #100daysofiphonephotos #the100dayproject #snowday #llbeanboots #llbeanhuntingshoes
I’ve been baking sourdough bread for 10 months n I’ve been baking sourdough bread for 10 months now and I think I’m finally getting close to how I want the scoring to look. This loaf took about 24 hours from start to finish, it was sluggish at first so I waited patiently and adjusted my timeline. It rested in the banneton on the kitchen windowsill overnight and I baked it when I got up this morning. Oven spring was impressive, it’s got a good ear and a nice open crumb. It tastes good, too! #sourdoughbread #sourdoughbaking #lookatthatear #nicecrumb #ovenspring #homemadeisbest #breadforbreakfast #morningbaking #the100dayproject #100daysofiphonephotos
I’m so very grateful for @iamicaniwillido and he I’m so very grateful for @iamicaniwillido and her rides. She empowers me and pushes me and inspires me to work harder than I think I can every damn time. I am. I can. I will. I do. #iamicaniwillido #pelotoncycling #iamanathlete #findthejoy #opentochange #icompeteagainstmyself #strongereveryride
The100DayProject starts on 1/31/2021 and I am join The100DayProject starts on 1/31/2021 and I am joining for the first time. I will be doing #100daysofiphonephotos as it seems like a great way to learn to use the fancy pants camera on my new iPhone 12. #the100dayproject
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