What I Did for Easter

Easter is not an easy holiday for me. My older brother Donald had a motorcycle accident on April 1, 1983 and it was also Good Friday. He died a week later on April 8th and Easter has been just a little bit tragic ever since. This year’s Easter actually fell on the 24th anniversary of his death. So, I did what any smart woman would do. I armed myself with family, good food, and a couple of mimosas.




We had all the kids and grandkids over for a yummy dinner of ham, Parmesan mashed potatoes, asparagus and carrots. There was coconut cake and cheesecake for dessert. We had an egg hunt – inside due to the unseasonably cold weather – and an all around pleasant day. I loved how noisy and chaotic it all was, a sharp contrast to Easter 1983 when we were in the midst of tragedy and grief.

I have some close blog friends who have recently experienced personal loss and I just want to say things do get better. Not all at once and not always when you want. But it does get better. Time and family and love – those are the things that have brought healing to my life.

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This Post Has 49 Comments

  5. Oh Carole, I’m so very sorry. Good for your soul that you can at least ease it with all that’s good in life. {{HUGS}}

  7. Nothing brings back a loved one. And nothing makes us forget nor would we want to. But, there’s no better way to celebrate life than with loved ones.

  8. Thanks for the insights, they’re a nice reassurance. I’m so sorry for your loss and that you are reminded of it at a holiday. I’m happy that you’ve found a good way to deal with it. I didn’t see a photo of the mimosas, but did I see some roving?! *g*

  9. You’ve had too many hard losses in life. Your sense of humor, joy for life and family are hard won. It sounds like a lovely memorable day.

  10. A good family is a powerful healer. I’m glad that your family it there to always help you thru this sad holiday. We lost a grandbaby on Christmas eve a few years ago and every year do much the same as you do for Easter…..we fill it up with love, which somehow helps soften the memory a bit.

    Hugs!
    BTW…..we had almost the exact same dinner here, except the coconut desert was a pie…LOL

  11. {{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}
    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds and looks like you had the perfect recipe for getting through such a difficult day!

  13. We called it “baby magic” in my family when my mom passed away. It’s a great antidote to grief, isn’t it?

  14. What a nice looking family you’ve got there. It’s so nice that you have such a loving family to help you celebrate life.
    Take care.

  15. Loss around a holiday is hard and it’s never quite the same again. Glad you have such a wonderful family to help you get through it. Many hugs to you my friend.

  17. Carole, I certainly understand where you are coming from. Being surrounded by the ones you love is important.

    I don’t think you ever ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one (which seems to be what many people think you are supposed to do), I think you learn to ‘get through it,’ an important distinction that has helped me heal from my sister’s death.

    I wish you lots of warm comforting thoughts.

  18. So sorry to hear that the holiday is tied to such sad memories. Surrounding yourself with family really is the best medicine.

  19. Hugs to you Carole! I know the grief and love for your dear brother truly never ends. If anything can help to wash away the sadness it’s the precious little children you have around you. A lovely collage of your Easter Day and sweet little ones there. 🙂

  21. What a lovely and generous post. You are right, things DO get better, and we are then better armed for other events that come along. I love all the pictures.

  24. I’m glad you were able to find a way of enjoying the holiday. You are right, time and the love of family and friends can heal all things.

  25. Oh Carole – losing a brother so young is such a deep sorrow.May the passing of years soften the ache in your heart.
    The blessings of adorable small children certainly do help. Such cuteness!

  26. I’m sorry to hear that this is such a sad time of year for you – but glad to see that you are surrounded by family and friends.

  27. It can be difficult to celebrate holidays when they are so closely tied to a day of loss. In the beginning, it can seem as though the gatherings associated with the holidays were made to emphasize who _isn’t_ there. I’m glad you were able to make the most of the day.

    The night my grandfather died, as we were all leaving the hospital, we passed by the nursery to see the baby that was born that day. Somehow, it made our grief easier to bear, to see the beginning of a new life. Easter itself is a time of renewal, of new life. It always has been, even before Christianity co-opted it. I will skip the sermon since I know few people appreciate such things. But think about the symbols of Easter–the bunny, the master of fertility; the egg, the symbol of a new life. And spring is all around us, with flowers emerging despite the snow and cold that is reminding us of winter. It helps me to think of those things–to remember the continuity of lif–when I am enveloped in the the sadness that accompanies the remembrance of a loss.

  29. Easter reminds me that the Lord has ascended and will someday return again..So I always feel like something new is beginning with every easter, and think about one day seeing my grandmother again. Its a melancholy holiday, isn’t it? I was going to blog about it, but didn’t want to scare anyone-now I wish I had. Being around the children always helps, but the feeling of missing someone important is always there!

  30. I’m so glad that you and your family had a lovely day together. While nothing can take the pain and loss, I like to think the new happy memories help to ease the pain and offer some comfort. Plus cake. ;^) *hugs*

  31. I am sorry for your loss. It is truly wonderfully when family can unite during a sad time to honor the memory of their lost loved one and to cherish those that are present.

  33. It’s wonderful that you can celebrate Donald’s life with the future generations that he lives on thru.

    It does get better but in some ways it stays an open wound like the very day it happened. The only way to cope is to have loving family and friends (like you!) to help you thru it.

  35. I’m glad it was better this year. 🙂

    That’s Easter-egg-kit roving, yes? I see it hiding in plain sight up there on the right… very cheery. 🙂

  36. My turn to say “thank you” to you – personal loss comes in many other ways besides the death of a loved one…and it is nice to know there will one day be a healing of sorts.

  38. Bless you! I just wanted to hide in my bed all day Sunday, but we did the family thing too, and it helped a lot. Just seeing the joy and happiness in your life let’s me know that things will get better. Thank you for that!

    xox

  39. Lovely post, Carole. Yep, things do get better, but just like the “wheels of justice” exceedingly slowly. Glad you had a pleasant day. I, too, had to play the mimosa card………..

  43. Oh Carole, you must hate the first week of April every year. I have no point of reference in understanding how you feel, but I still wish I could give you a hug (followed by a stiff drink).

    Your family is beautiful and I’m so glad you were surrounded by your loved ones.

  44. Thank you for sharing your story of loss and healing, Carole. I’m glad you have your family for strength (and laughter and joy and distraction).

  45. I’m so glad that you have been healing over the years. I, too, lost a sibling this time of year. My oldest sister died suddenly 10 years ago last week (I posted about it last week). Time does help, but it’s a tough time of year for me too. She went into a coma on Easter Sunday and died a week later. Thanks for sharing.

  47. You have a beautiful family, and I’m sure your brother was with you in spirit. God bless.

  48. Big hugs to you. My grandmother died on July 3rd, 1990, so the 4th never holds the same feeling for me as it used to either.

  49. You are a very smart woman. The food sounds wonderful, the family looks beautiful, and I am a big believer in the power of mimosas.

    All cheekiness aside, I’m sure that that was not an easy post to write. I’m so glad that you and your family have each other, and I’m lucky to have you as a friend.

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