What the Hull?

Blank screen. Blinking Cursor.

That’s what I’m looking at as I try to come up with appropriate words to describe the scene in the hotel lounge on Friday night. I’m trying to think of words that will convey my horror but I don’t want to be mean. Because if I tell you what I really think about the situation, it may come across as mean. Or perhaps even judgmental. And while I may sound that way, the truth is, it was highly entertaining. And maybe even a little scary.

What am I talking about, you ask? I’m talking about swinging. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment.

Yes, indeed. Apparently, the third Friday of the month is a “meet and greet” at the Doubletree for a local swinging group. I’m quite sure they were as surprised to find knitters and spinners in their midst as we were to find swingers in ours.

Just picture this: a bunch of us knit bloggers sitting at the bar, drinking beer, watching the people who were dancing. Just another Friday night at a club, right? Not really.

At first, we just thought they were sort of stuck in the 80s. Big hair, outdated clothing, tank tops and belly shirts and fishnet stockings. But the dancing was so over the top that we eventually realized there was more to it than a time warp. You’ve seen dirty dancing, so you have an idea of what I’m talking about but turn that up, say about twenty times, and you’ll get a mental picture of what we were watching. Because we were watching, make no mistake about it. It was like a train wreck – you know you shouldn’t look but you just can’t help yourself. I’ll just use two words: bumping and grinding. Take that to the nth degree and you’ll get the picture. I’m pretty sure it was all done to illustrate just how “bendy” each person could be. Ugh.

So I suppose I do sound judgmental. And I’m trying not to sound like that because I believe that everyone has a right to live their life in the way that makes them happy. And, as I already said, it was very very entertaining. I can’t remember the last time I’ve laughed so much. I don’t understand it, that’s true. But you know what? Whatever melts your butter, kids.

Just don’t get your butter on my knitting, okay?

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This Post Has 74 Comments

  6. Just as Carole said, but more! What the Hull?? You had to be there! I too haven’t laughed so hard in a very long time.

  10. I encounter the same kind of split: we fought the Revolution to allow freedom like this, but I still don’t think it’s a good way to run a life.

  14. I’m not sure bumping and grinding is quite descriptive enough. Add, perhaps, rubbing and humping. Ewwww. And the fact that all these people were in their 40s, more or less. Ewwww and rather sad. . . but mostly ewwwww.

  15. I’m really glad you guys found out they were swingers… I was really concerned someone had organized a “dress like your favorite ice-dancer” night in Portland. LOL…

    quote of the day on Sunday (via Dan):

    “what’s with eating Mexican food with Carole?”

    had a great weekend!

    🙂 kate

  16. Um. Gee – you’d think someone who books these sorts of things would maybe look at the roster and think “noncompatible”. Maybe not.

  17. OMG Carol, they were HYSTERICAL. We didn’t realize they were swingers though…but that makes a lot of sense now. I couldn’t believe the one with the handkerchief skirt with her butt hanging out. That one did it for me. Whew. Lot’s of excitement at that Double Tree!

  18. Hahah, I’m laughing even harder at Marcy’s horror that all these people were “in their forties.” Um. We haven’t dried up just yet.

    HOWEVER, that is an interesting sociological observation, because it would have been these people’s PARENTS who were into (maybe) those swinging parties in the ’70s. So if mom and dad did it, it’s just come around full circle………. LOL

  23. MAN! I always miss the good stuff! Why oh why did I have to arrive so late on Friday?? What a hoot! Great to meet and knit with you Carole. I had such a great weekend!

  25. Oh. my. God. I don’t know whether to laugh hysterically or be totally terrified! What a picture that is! Good grief!

  29. Wow, I thought I’d pop over to say hell. Little did I know I would get such an interesting post! I would have LOVED to have seen all that! It would give some excitement to my boring pregnant life.

  31. Um. Yeah. I’m with Kathleen on the ewwww. Not so much about the bumping and grinding — whatever floats your boats folks — it’s the “butter” on the knitting that raised my hackles. Ewwww again.

  32. “just don’t get your butter on my knitting”
    That is the funniest thing I’ve read all day! Sounds like a most interesting time! Isn’t the world full of interesting folk? heh.

  33. (giggle) (snort) We stayed with my folks, whose room rates are infinitely cheaper than the Doubletree’s, but I gotta say the entertainment was on a whole different level.

    I usually have cat drool on my knitting.

  35. Carole – you are not being judgmental you are merely telling it how it was! My favorite comment was from Kellee who asked why the “Fredericks of Hollywood” model was there. Did you see how short her skirt was?

    The entertainment value was priceless. I may go next month just to be humored again. HA HA

  37. OMG that is HI-LARIOUS They probably thought the spinning wheels could be some new toy for them. Thanks for making my day I will be chuckling all day long over this image.

  39. And here we just thought it was a bunch of weirdos stuck in the 80s! ROFLMAO! I thought we had be transported back in time to a hotel lounge with really bad music, bad hair, and ugly clothes. Who knew, I can only imagine what they were thinking!

  43. Yuck – not swinging, but Swinging. Again, yuck. But, I imagine, highly entertaining in a “boy, are we going to make fun of this later” sort of way.

  45. Oh my GOSH! I had to read that again. lol TOO FUNNYYYYY!!!! hehe And the comments! lmao I swear that knitters are magnets for hilarious things like that. heh

  47. Can’t believe I missed it! And thanks for letting my mutha’ come home with another wheel! I must go see it ASAP…

  48. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
    When in Maine…
    And I can picture you, with a frosty mug of beer in one hand, and your jaw on the floor.
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
    And you wonder why I don’t get out of town much. it’s scary out there, girl. SCARY!

  50. Thank you for explaining. I was sitting here wondering what kind of swingers. The other kind might have been fun to watch, too. Keys in a bowl, anyone? /runs

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