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An Etiquette Lesson

A friend of my stepdaughter’s recently got engaged and posted it on Facebook. I am happy and excited for her and I extended my best wishes. Almost everyone else, though, congratulated her.

People.

Congratulations are for the groom, who has gotten a woman to accept his proposal. Best wishes are for the bride, as congratulating her implies that she has somehow been lucky enough to snag a man. Call me old-fashioned but this is how I roll.

Today I will be extending my best wishes to my dear college friend, Chrissie, as I attend (and photograph, God help me) her wedding to her beloved groom, Tony. All etiquette aside, I couldn’t be happier for both of them!

This Post Has 15 Comments

  1. YES!!! I know! “congratulations” to brides makes me squirm, too! Enjoy the wedding today. november 19 is a wonderful date for an anniversary!

  2. But how do you know who asked whom? My husband and I can’t remember in our case, and Monday will be our 31st anniversary.

  3. Your photos will be amazing — they always are. I hope the pressure doesn’t keep you from having a wonderful time there too.

  4. I think you’ve mentioned this before and I had never thought about it. Funny how we say things without really hearing what we are actually saying, you know? Thanks for the reminder again.

    I hope your evening as photographer is terrific!

  5. Those little words make all the difference. Though I must admit I was probably guilty of issuing congratulations rather than best wishes. Hope the photography went well and you enjoyed the wedding! 41years for me on Monday….where did the time go!

  6. THANK YOU! It is because of that, i wanted my fiance involved in the wedding shower. he got just as giddy at the cookware than i did. we walked down the aisle together too. people needed to gawk at him too for he looked suuuuuuuuuper snazzy too! 😛

    good luck shooting!

  7. So many people make this mistake. Etiquette just isn’t taught at home or anywhere else any more. I hope your evening was wonderful and I know your pictures were fabulous! Best Wishes and long life to the happy couple!

  8. This is the type of etiquette that is normally taught from mother to daughter as they are going to weddings. Having never been to a wedding that I can remember growing up (I know one of my aunts got married, but I was young enough to remember only that I was wearing a yellow dress) meant that even if my mom knew that bit of etiquette she didn’t have a convenient opportunity to teach it.

    Of course, she probably didn’t know either. Thanks for the piece of information. I’ll try to be more mindful in the future.

  9. My mother taught me that at the very first wedding I went to. I was 5 and the flower girl. I believe Mom said, “You congratulate the groom on his good luck to have found such a wonderful bride…”

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