Three On Thursday
I have this problem. I commit to . . . things . . . in a moment of inspiration. Or whatever. And then when it comes time to do the . . . things . . . I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I thought it was something I’d want to do. It’s Thursday so I will give you 3 examples to illustrate what I mean.
- Earlier this summer I got an email at work about Microsoft Excel workshops that the town was going to offer to employees in September. I thought, oooh, great idea, I’m sure my use of Excel could be better. I signed myself up for the intermediate group. The classes are next week on Wednesday and Thursday morning. Do I still want to go? Of course not.
- A couple of weeks ago I got a text from a friend in Kiwanis that I greatly respect and admire. He asked if I would be willing to be on the Nominating Committee. This is the committee that seeks out people to fill the various leadership positions in the club, everything from being on the Board of Directors to serving as President. I said yes. On Sunday I got an email that the committee would be meeting Tuesday night at 7 at a local restaurant to discuss potential nominees. Did I want to go to this meeting? Of course not.
- When I have bananas that turn brown I throw them in the freezer so that I can make banana bread at a future time. At the current moment I have about a dozen bananas in my freezer. Do I have any plans to make banana bread? Of course not.
Now, I want to say, I will go to the Excel class. And I went to the Nominating Committee meeting on Tuesday night. At some point I will even make banana bread. But the me that thinks I’m going to want to do the things and the me that then agrees to do the things really needs to consider that the me that is then going to have to do the things will not want to do them. Some day I hope that future me will live up to the person that current me thinks I am.
Please tell me you can relate.
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I experience this too. It’s like my FOMO leaves at the point I might actually miss out. I’ve realized there area few things going on here for me. First, meet new people?!! Second, I might have not actually planned my schedule well to include the thing so it’s suddenly taking away from what I consider my time, ignoring that I might enjoy or benefit from this thing. Finally, I’m not always interested in living up to my potential (is there a more hated phrase) if it means being uncomfortable. I’ve become better at evaluating these opportunities and I am trying to be more intentional.
I definitely relate! I think it’s easy to agree to do something when it’s not yet a reality but the minute I have to actually *do* it, I no longer want to.
As to those bananas, if it were me, I’d bake up a large batch of banana bread (several loaves) and put them in the freezer so that the next time you get a hankering for banana bread, it’s already made!
I can definitely relate, so much so that now when I get asked to do something, I say, “let me check my calendar and I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” If I still want to do the thing 24 hrs. later, then I go ahead and commit. I don’t want to be the person that sits at home and does nothing, but I want to reserve time to do the stuff I need to do at home (like knit, read, and make banana bread)!
Totally, absolutely relate. I’m trying to be better about this . . .
I read an article recently that explained the “phenomena” and made this suggestion: When you’re asked to do something, or if you’re thinking some future event sounds like a good idea, you should ask yourself, “Would I say yes if the [fill-in-the-blank future commitment] was tomorrow??? If the answer is yes, you should do it; if no, you should pass. The “science” behind the article is that we have different frame of references for ourselves based on the immediacy of a commitment. They always sound so much more . . . fun/interesting/doable . . . when it’s farther in the future. But not so much when it’s . . . tomorrow.
I’m glad it’s not just me! YES! I relate to your post.
OF COURSE I can relate! (also, frozen bananas make excellent smoothies)
I would like to point out that you _are_ living up to the person you think you want to be when you make commitments. You keep those commitments, Carole! It’s just that your appetite for impulsive commitments is greater than your joy in fulfilling them. I think that is true for most of us, but at least you keep them. BTW, my freezer is full of black bananas. Like you, I am awash with good intentions – LOL.
Oh yes, I can relate. And, the other week when I was grating ALL the zucchini and putting it in freezer bags and then into the freezer guess what I found? Yup…about 8 frozen bananas. Now I have to make both banand bread AND zucchini bread – lol…and no immediate plans to make either.
and……do you want to know how many bananas I have subsequently tossed in the trash as my freezer becomes full of black bananas????? I can totally relate. yup, right there with you…”oh that might be fun”!! and then, oh crap, I have to get dressed and go out?????”
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I can totally relate to this. You are not alone!!
You are so not alone! And I had read (or heard?) that same thing that Kym mentioned… it helps, so much.
Also, I just got better at saying no… and not being overwhelmed with guilt at doing so!
Oh yea. I never commit to anything on the spot! I’ve learned to wait… and very often it’s legitimate, I have to check my schedule and often someone else’s, too!
I have a photo (from somewhere on the internet) in my work desktop wallpaper rotation that says:
The Complete Up-to-Date Rules for Living the Life You Want to Live
1. Say yes to the things that bring you joy
2. Say no to the things that don’t
3. If you’re tempted to say maybe, say no
–Rules for Living 2017 Brian Andreas
Also, if I say NO to whatever thing… the reasons are MY business and no one else’s. I do not have to share (it’s not a rule).