Looking Back: March 2020

April 8, 2020 By Carole

If I’m going to be completely honest (and I try very hard to be completely honest when I share my thoughts, feelings and ideas with you) I’ve been avoiding looking back at March. We started this new way of life on March 13th and I’ve just been avoiding reliving the marked change that has brought for us . . . mostly in the removal of in-person time with Jackie. But, documenting our life in photos and videos is something I do and if I’m doing it I’m sharing it. So here we go.

What did I learn? How to bake sourdough bread! Sean shared his started with me early in the month (before it became trendy, ha!) and I made two really great loaves of sourdough bread. I’m going to make some again this week.

What was my greatest accomplishment? Finishing that puzzle of New York City!

Where did I go? Last month I said nowhere as often as possible. This month that’s really true.

Who did I spend time with? And what did we do? At the beginning of the month we were with Brant and Dale’s friend Dennis as they were both in town for Randy’s memorial service. By the end of the month it was all Dale, all the time. Good thing I like him.

What brought me joy? Seeing spring arrive in my yard. It’s a wonderful reminder that even as we feel like things are falling apart the natural world continues on.

What do I want to remember? That I can survive change. That I can find joy at home. That technology is a wonderful tool for staying connected when you can’t be with people, whether that’s family, friends or work. That life is precious and should be celebrated every single day.

I won’t pretend I’m excited about what April may have in store for us but I will say that I will face it with courage. And an open heart.

Looking Back: February 2020

March 4, 2020 By Carole

I’m keeping with the same format for presenting my photos and videos as last month, showing you a photo mosaic, a one second daily video montage, and answering a few questions. Here we go!

What did I learn? It’s possible to have a very mild case of the flu, if I hadn’t seen the test results with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it.

What was my greatest accomplishment? Planning and executing (with plenty of help from my family and friends and community) Randy’s memorial service

Where did I go? Nowhere. As often as possible. Ha!

Who did I spend time with? And what did we do? There was lots of family time in February, plenty of evenings at home with Dale along with a vacation to New Hampshire with the kids. We played games, we had cocktails and snacks, and we laughed.

What brought me joy? Seeing all 4 of our kids together for the first time in 8 years was the most joyous moment of the month for me.

What do I want to remember? All of it. The sadness and tears as we remembered Randy. The joy of having Brant with us and seeing other friends who live far away. The flowers, the knitting, the family dinner the night before Randy’s service, the snow, the mountains, and more.

We’re on to March!

Looking Back: January 2020

February 12, 2020 By Carole

I’m totally stealing the format for my photo mosaic and one second video share from Mary this month. Here are the photos I took to represent each day:

And here’s the video of 1.5 seconds from each day:

And here are the questions I want to consider as I think about January 2020.

What did I learn? a regular yoga practice is enjoyable and good for me

What was my greatest accomplishment? finishing my Stopover sweater

Where did I go? work, of course. Plus Boston for a weekend conference and one day I even went to the mall – shocking!

Who did I spend time with? And what did we do? Dale, always. Plus Jackie and my kids, we had a planned dinner party plus several impromptu gatherings at home

What brought me joy? Jackie, of course and always. That Le Creuset dutch oven, something I’ve longed to have for ages. Twinkle lights. And our new living room furniture.

What do I want to remember? Jackie’s laugh and how fast he runs, finishing socks and a cowl, plenty of hygge at home. Gratitude for routines and simple pleasures like flowers, sunshine and good cheese.

Onward to February!

A Month of Photos and A Video: December 2019

January 13, 2020 By Carole

January is practically half over and I have yet to post December’s media stuff! I decided to put the one second video first this time just to mix things up. And also because I have things to say about my photos this month and I wanted those thoughts to be at the end of the post.

So. First the video:

And now the photos:

Here’s the deal.

Frankly, it’s been hard to go back and look at these and get them ready to share with you. There’s nothing that indicates that our lives fell apart in the middle there, but in my head the month is very clearly divided into before Randy died and after Randy died . . . exactly one month ago today. I honestly don’t think it’s reflected in the photos . . . no one else can probably tell that anything changed . . . there are still twinkle lights and cookies and all that’s lovely about December. But. The photos at the beginning of the month feel joyful to me. There’s Dale in the snow with his new hat. There is a silly outtake from our Christmas card photo shoot. There is the joy of our town tree lighting. And then there is the rest of the month. When I look at the photo from December 13th, I remember taking that picture of our Christmas tree before we headed out to a party, only to be called back home shortly after we left because something tragic had happened. When I look at the photo of our town gazebo, I remember walking down there with Dale, hoping to feel the peace of the season despite our sadness. When I see that photo of Jackie asleep on our bed, I remember that as I was taking it Dale was in the living room with Luke and they were telling Randy stories and trying to make sense of what had happened. I love to document our life events with photos but this event . . . this before and after . . . it’s a story I don’t know how to tell in photos.

There are feelings behind those photos that aren’t directly reflected in the photos themselves. But they are there. And they are sad. Those feelings are relentless and heavy. But it’s life and sometimes life breaks your heart. And you take photos of twinkle lights and cocktails anyway.

You carry on.

Thanks for listening.

A Month of Photos And Videos: November 2019

December 4, 2019 By Carole

It’s that time of the month. No, not that time. It’s photo time. The time when we take a glance back and see what happened around here last month. Here’s November . . .

It sure looks like we ate a lot! I love the quality of the light in so many of those food photos, everything looks cozy and warm and festive. There aren’t as many people photos as I try and get but I think I make up for that in the video below.

And that’s a wrap on November! We’re on to twinkle lights and snow!