The Read With Us Lounge and the Freedom to DNF

It’s the first Monday of the month and that means something special in The Read With Us Lounge. It means that Bonny, Kym, and I are all addressing the same topic. And today it’s challenging the notion that you have to finish every book you start because it seems that somewhere along the way, many of us decided that was a rule we had to follow.

Maybe it came from school, where every assigned book had a test at the end. Maybe it came from our parents, who taught us not to quit things. Maybe it’s just part of being a “good reader.”

Whatever the reason, a surprising number of people feel guilty about putting a book down before the last page.

I’m here to suggest that maybe we should let go of that guilt.

Reading is one of the few hobbies we voluntarily choose to spend our free time doing. If a television show isn’t grabbing you after a few episodes, you stop watching. If a recipe turns out to be a flop, you probably won’t make it again. If a restaurant disappoints you, you might not go back.

Books deserve the same freedom.

That doesn’t mean every difficult book should be abandoned. Some books ask more of us. They challenge us, stretch us, or unfold slowly before rewarding our patience. Those can become some of our favorite reads.

But there’s a difference between a book that’s asking you to work and a book that simply isn’t working for you.

Sometimes it’s a good book but the wrong time. (Hello, Poisonwood Bible) Sometimes you’re distracted. (Looking at you, Villa Coco) Sometimes you’ve just finished an incredible book and everything else pales in comparison. (Hey there, reading slump after Whistler) And sometimes a book simply doesn’t match your tastes. (I tried Alchemised, I really did)

None of those are failures.

I think one reason people hesitate to stop reading is the feeling that they’ve already invested too much time. “I’ve made it halfway,” they think. “I might as well finish.”

That’s understandable, but those hours are already gone. The real question is whether you want to spend the next five or ten hours with this book—or with one that might completely captivate you.

There are also readers who feel obligated to finish because they purchased the book, borrowed it from the library, chose it for book club, or received it as an advance review copy. Those are all real pressures.

But reading out of obligation can slowly turn reading into work.

As a librarian, I want you to know something: we don’t want you forcing your way through books you aren’t enjoying. We’d much rather see you return a book unfinished and find one that keeps you reading than have you avoid reading altogether because your nightstand has become a pile of guilt.

Life is simply too short, and there are too many wonderful books waiting.

Giving yourself permission to stop reading a book isn’t giving up.

It’s making room for the next great read.

So if you’ve been waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to DNF a book, consider this your permission slip.

Close the book.

Return it to the library.

Put it in the Little Free Library.

Or tuck it back on the shelf for another day.

And then go find the book you can’t wait to pick up tomorrow.

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Comments (11)

  1. This is definitely something I struggle with. I’ve gotten better at it over the past several years, but I always hope that even if I’m not enjoying a book, somehow it will get better at the end. This is especially the case when readers I know have enjoyed a book and I’m not; I often assume that there’s something still to come that will explain the difference.

  2. I absolutely could not have said it better, so my comment will be short. I never feel guilty about deciding a book is not for me at this time. I don’t write it off forever, just for now. I am also in a reading slump since finishing Whistler, Carole, but sometimes a great read just needs to be savored for a while. I have started Land, but I don’t think it is the book to read after Whistler.

  3. Yes to all of this Carole! Releasing myself from the self-imposed prison to finish what I start is a very good thing. And YES …. this is not school reading. I read because I love to read! And there are billions of books… our choices are so abundant, it is okay to pass on a book and find another one!

  4. I don’t know why this is such a hard habit to break! Maybe because “finish what you start” is drilled into us from early on, but it begins to be quite freeing when you realize you don’t have to finish a book. That’s one of the reasons I love the library; it’s so much easier for me to DNF a book if I haven’t actually purchased it, and I can pat myself on the back that by returning it sooner I’m getting it into the hands of someone who might actually enjoy it. Thanks for the permission! 🙂

  5. I am in this pickle right now. I have a book that is “supposed ” to be a great read; it is/was all over the cyber sphere; it should be my type of book. But I am 1/2 way in with hours to go and I am not loving or even liking the story or writing or characters. So thank you Carole for your insight. I am DNFing and going to read something else.

  6. I’ve gotten better at this, but not MUCH better. I also, once or twice, have been haunted by a book I did not finish. I once put aside a book by Joyce Carol Oates (about a boxer, maybe?) that was just too gritty and ugly for me. But boy, the images of that book are still THERE. I believe if I’d finished the book and found the resolution of the story, the images would have had less power. On the other hand, I’ve never gone back to find the book.

  7. Ultimately, it’s a math problem: How many books do you finish a year? How many more years will you live? Multiply them. That is the very small number of books you’ve got left. Do I want this book I’m struggling with to be one of them? Sometimes it’s a yes, but almost always it tilts the scale toward putting the book down.

  8. Oh Gosh! As I commented earlier on both Bonny’s and Kym’s blogs, I was once one of those people who HAD to finish EVERY book I started. Why? Je ne sais pas. Even in High School. I remember having to read Crime and Punishment which I absolutely hated and did not finish…I finished it that summer when I was in Vermont (and it was painful!!). Anyway, no guilt, no explaining necessary. There are SO MANY books I want to read – why stick with something that is not pleasurable? Having said that, I will add that our RWU group has had me read books I didn’t think I would. Y’all know about Young Mungo (Ugh), but I tried to read The Antidote months before we read it as a group and I could not. But when we decided to read it, I loved it! Go figure. Sometimes the timing is just not right.

  9. I’m a finisher. I don’t know what but I even felt weird returning a book to the library that I never started as I got it home and realized it was book 3 in a series, I owned book 1 but hadn’t read it yet but didn’t have book 2. I have a summer reading plan and it didn’t fit in so back it went.

  10. Well written Carole. When I was raising children and teaching full time, I realized my leisure time was too precious to read a book that wasn’t working for me. The older I get, the more carefully I consider how to spend my days. I love the Little Free Libraries as a place to donate a copy that is in fairly good shape. Right now my branch library is also accepting donations for their used book sale.

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