The Read With Us Lounge: Challenge Your Reading Rules

Today, Bonny and Kym and I want to talk about all the strange little rules we create around reading. Not rules about library due dates. (Those are real.) But rather, the unwritten rules we somehow absorb over the years, the ones that whisper that there’s a right way to be a reader.

You know the ones . . .

You have to finish every book you start.

You have to read every book in a series.

You can’t skip ahead.

You can’t skim.

Audiobooks don’t count.

Graphic novels don’t count.

Listening while you fold laundry isn’t “real” reading.

Says who?

The older I get, the more I think we spend far too much energy trying to be “good readers” instead of happy readers.

Recently I decided to stop reading a cozy mystery series that I’ve enjoyed for years. The first few books were fun, but somewhere along the way they started to feel… bland. The plots became predictable. The dialogue became painfully saccharine. At one point the main character actually exclaimed, “What the fudge!”

I mean . . . come ON.

There are thousands of books I’ll never have time to read. Why would I spend my precious reading hours on books that no longer challenge me or bring me joy? The same goes for all those other imaginary rules.

If reading the last page first makes you enjoy the journey more, go for it.

If a chapter spends fifteen pages describing a battle and you’re really just interested in what happens afterward, skim away.

If you discover that an audiobook fits your life better because you can listen while commuting, gardening, or walking the dog, that’s reading too. Your brain doesn’t care whether the story arrived through your eyes or your ears.

If you put a book down halfway through because life is too short to spend with characters you don’t enjoy, you have my full permission. (Not that you needed it.)

Reading isn’t a test. No one is handing out gold stars for suffering through books you dislike or finishing a series out of obligation. The goal isn’t to follow the rules. The goal is to build a reading life you actually love.

So here’s my challenge for you: Think about one reading rule you’ve been following. Then ask yourself the simplest question of all:

Who made that rule?

You might discover that the only person enforcing it… is you.

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Comments (11)

  1. I heartily concur with all of this Carole. But for me, I find letting a book go if a friend read it and loved it…. so hard. It feels like my not liking the book is just wrong. But I love your “be a happy reader” idea. Yes! This week I am a very happy reader as I reread Whistler… lingering with Daphne and Eddie.

  2. “Be a happy reader” is perfect! As I commented on Bonny’s blog, I used to be a person who felt like I had to finish every book I started. Not now though. Life is way too short! Maybe the “finish every book” rule came from school where I had to finish a book whether I liked it or not!

  3. When I had little discretionary income, I still spent money on books. Because those funds were dear, I felt I had to read the entire book to get my money’s worth. One day, my economics training clicked and I decided buying the book was a ‘sunk cost’ but I didn’t have to invest my time any more if i decided the book didn’t hold enough promise to finish it. It sounds weird, but it was a good revelation for me. So, losing interest or when I find myself mentally rewriting the book means it’s time to move on.

    One quirk I haven’t figured out is how to get back into a book when my reading gets interrupted for several days. Mostly, it happens with books I don’t finish on vacation. I get busy catching up on life and then it’s been just long enough I can’t remember quite where I was and….

  4. I do wonder where these so-called rules came from before we internalized them. And why is there so much gate-keeping about what constitutes “real” reading? I read what I want, how I want. If I don’t want to read it, I don’t. Like you said, there are way more books that I want to read than I’ll ever have time to read in my life, so my reading time is precious. I’m not wasting it on something that doesn’t bring me joy or benefit me in some way.

  5. I gave up all rules about reading a long time ago. I don’t feel badly if I am reading a lot of magazines and no books. Why do some people think that “real” reading only includes novels or nonfiction? I read what I am interested in, and no rules about anything.

  6. Thank you for starting this discussion. I am retired and read a lot. If I don’t like the characters, the writing style or the plot, I stop reading and move on. No guilt or remorse. Someone else will like the book! Most of my reading is on a tablet with books downloaded from the library or Kindle. I have learned to always get a sample before purchasing. Sometimes the story seems so intriguing but then the writing is so trite.

    I appreciate all your reading posts. Reading has been a big part of my life since I was a child and was a big factor in my business success.

  7. I don’t know who made the rules that we all seem to have absorbed, but it’s getting easier to break them. Like Kat, I often struggle with quitting a book that a reading friend has loved, but after I admitted defeat to Emma M. Lion and her diaries, that has gotten a little easier, too. I listen to lots of audiobooks so I can knit and read, and I’m the boss of both of those things!

  8. I am thinking of your phrase that you have used often in your posts – you do you. Feels like the best way to avoid the reading rules that take the fun out of reading. Thanks

  9. It sometimes seems that reading has become a competition over who reads the “right” books and who reads the most books and this just makes reading a chore. We all have different tastes and preferred ways of reading. I really like what you said, “Be a happy reader” because reading should be a pleasurable activity.

  10. I do still finish every book I start but I am very picky with what I choose to read. I do like to read a series in order but even if I like a series, it may take me years to get to them as I fit them in when I feel like it. I wish all books had that it was a series written on it as I have bought books then found out they were like number 3 and I do want to read 1 and 2 first. I have broken this rule though as I have read some ARCS recently that are part of cozy series and I didn’t know that when I clicked on read them but I read them enjoying them even though I jumped in way into a series with some of them.

  11. I agree heartily with all of this post. I’m too old with too few years left to worry about the reading rules. I’m only reading books I enjoy.

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