Ten On Tuesday
Today’s Ten on Tuesday topic comes from Kym and I hope you will find it funny. At least, I mean it to be funny. The prompt is, 10 Words You Use When You Can’t Swear. As in, you’re at work or with children or just in a place where it would be inappropriate to, say, drop an f-bomb. Now, I wouldn’t say I swear like a truck driver but I have been known to express my feelings with a few choice expletives mixed in to really get my point across. Here is a list of the words I tend to use when those other words would get me into trouble.
- Friggin’, freakin’, frickin’. Probably my substitutes of choice, right there.
- Sugar. As in, oh sugar. Honestly, though, the real word is more likely to slip out. Particularly if I have just dropped something on my foot.
- Shut the front door. One of my favorites. Honestly, I think it’s better than the expression it is meant to replace.
- Geez/Jeez. Also Geez Louise.
- Son of a nutcracker. You’ve all seen Elf, right?
- Bites. I use this in place of sucks because I just hate that expression although I don’t particularly consider it a swear.
- Arse. It’s much classier to call someone a pain in the arse than it is to use the other word. There are times, though, when asshat is my word of choice.
- Crap. Holy Crap. One of my all time favorites, I must admit.
- Heck. Okay, not really. I would probably just say hell but I’ve got a list to write and I’m coming up with ten no matter what.
- For cryin’ out loud. Usually said with the word Oh in front. Oh, for cryin’ out loud. Are you kidding me? The tone of voice is key for this one.
And there you have it. I’m hoping you all are more creative than I have been with this list – perhaps I will be expanding my vocabulary! If you wrote a post for today’s topic please include a link to it below. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Ten on Tuesday email.
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this did make me smile! I’m curious to read others’ posts today…I think it’s going to be quite educational!
Shut the front door! Oh, I’m definitely picking that one up. 🙂
You have many I’ve never heard and they’re all fun. I’m particularly fond of fecking, like they say in Mink River. It’s the first I’ve heard that one. But, I like the real swear words, no substitutes. I just don’t think as quickly and as cleverly as you do!
I can’t believe I forgot Jeeze (well, where I live in Maine we say Jeezum Crow). 😉
Love those! I should totally start using them instead of the language I’m generally so fond of, lol. I learned two new ones recently … Shitake Mushrooms! … and Hockey Puck! My Mom used to say ‘for Pete’s sake!’ (I always wondered who the heck Pete was 😉 )
These are fun! My Mom used to say “Oh, God bless America!” and another favorite was “h-e-double hockey sticks”!
Sometimes when I’m really surprised I say oy! Comes from living in NYC.
Mother, a double major in orchestra/English, had a dachsund planter in which she grew small cacti. We all knew the planter had a name – “Gotterdammerung”, one of Wagner’s operas. When she was very irritated she would yell out the name of the planter. 🙂
In school, the “nice” girls would say Oh, sugar and Oh, fudge, and I used to wonder why they just didn’t use the real words when everyone knew that’s what they meant. My choice was to not use expletives at all, but as time went by, they did creep in — until we had children at which point we censored ourselves. We used the terms “Pucker-Safrai” (which was, in fact, the name of an art gallery in Boston, but it just sounds rude) and “fishhole” when we felt the need to swear. Since our children are adults now, I’m sorry to say that I swear freely around the house – and since I do, they do too, and everything has gone to h-e-double hockey sticks.
Milarkey! Jiminy cricket! Fiddlesticks! Judas Priest! Bloody arse! Northbound end of a southbound mule! Anyone need a translation? 🙂
Your #1 is my #1 too. It just works. Hard to come up with 10 fakes! 🙂
I use several from your list, although I agree that sometimes there is no proper substitute. I did pick up tartar sauce from my sons few years ago…apparently that was Sponge Bob’s favorite. My grandmother would say hells bells and I had an aunt who was fond of Good Night (a said with her Tennessee drawl). Great topic!
I love this TOT! Earlier today I glanced at it and thought of a few that weren’t on your list, then had a crazy arse day! However, there’s one non-swearing expression that I totally love. When my stepson was about five years old, his older sibs were enamoured with a joke where the line “Be patient, little jackass!” was the repeated punchline. Fast forward a few days and I was doing something that just wasn’t working and kinda used some inappropriate language. My little stepson looked at me and said, “Be patient, little Jackie!”. So, when I am annoyed with someone, I either think or say, “Be patient, little Jackie!”.
Now that school is out, I’m catching up on my blog reading…one of my favorites: cheese and rice!