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Self Talk Matters

I went to bed last night without prepping a blog post for today. I was tired and, while it had been a great weekend, it hadn’t been one that included a lot of photos or stuff to tell you about. I figured I’d think of something when I got up this morning.

I woke in the middle of the night and as I was lying there I tried to think of something to blog about. I thought to myself, just two words . . . you just need two words and you know a whole post will follow from there. And for a beat nothing came to me. And then the two words came:

You loser.

Yep. The two words I thought of when trying to come up with something for y’all to read today were you loser. It devolved from there.

You loser. You can’t even come up with a simple post for a Monday. You were too lazy to take pictures so you can’t share about your weekend. You’ve been doing this too long and you’re just retelling the same stale stories. Your knitting isn’t that great and yet you call this a knitting blog. And really, who cares anyway? No one blogs anymore, you’re just holding on for your own ego, no one would even notice if you stopped . . .

I could continue but you get the idea. And here’s the thing: if one of you came to me and said, ugh, I can’t think of anything to blog about, I wouldn’t call you a name. I wouldn’t suggest that you not bother because no one cares about your blog. Nope. What I would do is I would start coming up with suggestions for you. Just sit down and write, I would say. The words will come. Think about something you cooked or read, tell the story of your weekend, post a pretty picture you took and talk about why you are sharing it . . . oh, I could go on and on if I wasn’t talking to myself.

If it was you that needed help I would be kind. And that’s really my point . . . we need to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others. We need to talk to ourselves the way we talk to others, with love and encouragement and compassion.

So. My post for this Monday? The lesson I need to take to heart and maybe you might to?

Talk to yourself the way you talk to the person you love most in the world.



This Post Has 30 Comments

  1. Well, this is a great post! And so relatable. Those voices in my head meet a few times a week and sometimes I let them win (that’s when I take extended blog breaks). You’re right though, I would tell everyone else to keep doing their thing, that people read their blog because they like their voice, not specific content, that even the best bloggers have lesser days, etc., etc.
    Thanks for reminding me of this.
    And yes, I read your blog because of you, because I like the things you share and the way you share them, not because of specific content – so just keep going 😉

  2. Yup. What Maggie said. I look forward to reading you M-F. First thing I do every day. ?

  3. I’m so surprised that those would be the two words that popped into your mind; they would be the furthest from my mind when thinking of words to describe you. But the good thing is that you wrote a great post based on those two words. Thanks for the reminder to be kind — to everyone, and that includes ourselves.

  4. All of this… (but I especially love this… your weekend was so incredible. So full of fun and family and LOVE that snapping any photos was not at all in your mind. Which tells me that you were actually in your weekend rather than an observer! And, to that I say – GOOD FOR YOU!!)

  5. Like Bonny, those words surprise me! But, bravo to you for writing about it and reminding us all to be kind to ourselves…not only to others.

  6. Oh Carole, you have a way of writing just what I need to hear. Those negative voices have been niggling at me too. Thanks, thanks, and thanks again.

  7. I wonder why it is that we’re harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. I’m sorry that that thought was the first one in your head, but I’m also glad that you know how to tell that thought to shut up and get lost.

  8. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve given myself The Loser speech. I’m hard headed and have the ‘you can’t tell me what to do’ attitude so sometimes that Loser speech actually helps. I tell myself I should quit then the attitude kicks in and I do whatever I’m struggling with just to prove myself wrong. In fact, my Sunday Supper theme came about mainly because I kept forgetting to take photos for my Sunday Soup theme. So instead of writing about what we’d already eaten, I started writing about what we would be eating and using Google to provide the photos. And now Sundays are SO much easier!

  9. You’re my favorite way to start the day. And…I had a dream about you last night (true!) and of course you were the tip top human that you are in person!

  10. This post is also timely when we head into intense celebrations and the competition to have the perfect Instagram moment. Take a breath, and stop competing. Your knitting is you, and your photos are bright and shiny, and truly appreciated. Now I am off to find my Thanksgiving tablecloth…. and if I don’t, come November 28th, we will still be having a grand time with family. (we are meeting the BIL’s finance and son, so it is very exciting.)

  11. That committee meets in my head, too.
    (And usually in the middle of the night.)
    (Or anytime I pick up my paintbrush.)
    Thanks for reminding all of us . . . to silence those negative voices we invite into our heads.

  12. Well, this is just perfect. It is a slog sometimes, and we all have that stupid committee (usually meeting at inappropriate times), but I’m glad you put them in their place (and got a post out of it). I can’t really say the last time I actually went to anyone’s blog with the expectation of reading about knitting (except for Unraveled Wednesdays, and even then not always)… not like “in the old days.” I keep reading because I like you and everything about you, and I feel lucky that you’re willing to share so much. I sure would miss you…

  13. We care, we empathize, we come here to read you every day no matter what you write, because you are always so on point!

  14. First, I echo what Kat said.

    Second, I use bloglovin’ to aggregate the varied blogs I read. They alphabetize them. Many times you are not at the top of the list. That said, I always read you first. You always have something that is well thought out and meaningful. Thanks, for always sharing, whether you are feeling it or not. I would miss you.

  15. That same committee still meets in my head, and, yes, usually at night! You’re absolutely right that we should self talk just like we would to someone else with a problem. Why are we so hard on ourselves yet easily forgive others having the same issues?

    Your blog is still absolutely wonderful, and thank you for continuing it. Now give yourself a big hug, and realize that we still love to read what you post even if we don’t always comment.

  16. I agree – we are too hard on ourselves. I always compared myself to other women and I would feel inadequate. This is something I have been working on lately.

  17. Great post, Carole! Bravo to you for being vulnerable enough to admit this to us, and strong enough not to so something productive with it. This is an important lesson to learn for all of us. Thank you for sharing your struggles along with your successes. It makes for a much more interesting read!

  18. Thank you for writing this post, Carole – and for encouraging such a kind and caring community. That negative committee meets in ALL of our heads and this is such a positive way to deal with it!

  19. Doing a daily blog can be no small task and in a time when everything is instant it can feel laborious. But you have a gift that can only rise through blogging. To write is a skill and a gift. Anyone can come up with a set number of characters but to write is special. Self doubt is something we all feel. It is honest and real. But to conquer it is growth. Thanks for sharing such a personal feeling!

  20. Many years ago, I came here primarily for knitting reasons…because that was an escape for me then and it was really important to me…but as my life sorted itself out somewhat, knitting has taken a more realistic place in my life (sometimes a big part, sometimes not so much)…I come to blogs to catch up with people I have followed for quite some time and am interested in their lives! Blog on – I love to hear what’s going on in your neck of the woods!

  21. Thank you for being so open with us. I struggle with the voices in my head on a daily basis, too. Your willingness to put yourself out there is an inspiration. Thank you for your creativity and self care Saturday posts! I read your blog for creative insights, book recommendations, amd to see how your doing. My goals (which have been inspired by you) is to start journaling and meditating! Thank you for the inspiration!

  22. Awe, sweetie…I just did this last week with my blog about nothing post….and what did you say to me?
    We come here to support and visit you just where you are. <3

  23. Although I came to your blog for the knitting content, I now feel that you’re almost a friend and look forward to hearing what you have to say about gardening, decorating, civic work, reenacting, and your family. Please never doubt that you’re an interesting and interested person and have a whole cheering section out here in the virtual world.

  24. There you have it. The truth from more than a dozen others. You are an inspiration and always interesting to read. We are all TOO hard on ourselves and tapping down the negative thoughts and lifting up the positive thoughts can be difficult (especially at o-dark thirty), but you did it. You created a positive and loving space for yourself and for all of us.

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