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Three On Thursday

Coming at you this week with 3 random things . . .

  • Our oldest son Brant and his family live in Port Charlotte, one of the towns directly hit by Hurricane Ian. The last I heard from them was yesterday afternoon. They are at his mother-in-law’s house and are without power. There has been some damage to her house but they don’t know anything about their own house yet. They were not able to evacuate (read this piece from NPR on why evacuating isn’t doable for many people and for many reasons) and I’m a ball of anxiety regarding all of this.
  • Have you heard of phubbing? I do it. Dale does it. I bet you do it, too. It’s a fascinating phenomenon, particularly because we think when we do it that it’s not a big deal to the people around us, yet we’re full of emotions when others do it to us. I notice it in particular when Dale and I sit down for our Friday Night Snacks. I use my phone at that time to take a photo and post it to social media and I also use my phone to curate our playlist for the evening. I try to only use my phone for those two things but . . . you know how that goes. Dale often follows my cue and picks up his phone to send a text or an email or check his Facebook feed. And it bugs the crap out of me. I suppose it’s a double standard but I see my phone use during this time as essential because of the music and I see his phone use as . . . intrusive. Classic phubbing, honestly. Now that I know this behavior has a name, I’m going to work hard to avoid it.
  • I read an article the other day about doing a life edit in the fall. The idea is that you sit down and consider your life in 6 areas: digital, home, finance, wellness, mental, and relationships. Journal about each of these things extensively and then identify where you feel blocked or stressed and figure out ways to feel more at ease in each area. I’ve started the process and it feels great.

And that’s all from me for this Thursday. Add your link below if you wrote a post for this week!

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This Post Has 13 Comments

  1. I’ve never heard that term! I am totally guilty. I am starting my own “Stop Phubbubg” campaign.

  2. We have a no phones at the table rule, so I can honestly say we don’t phub there. I will take an honest look at whether I do it at other times because I definitely don’t want to be snubbing people I’m with. Sending all good wishes for safety, power, and an undamaged house to Brant and his family.

  3. I am full of worry for all of FL suffering post-Ian. The images I saw last night were very other-worldly… I truly hope that all who rode out the storm are okay.

    That phubbing thing… yeah, we had a long conversation about that. Now, I take the photo… but I don’t post to IG until after we are done eating. Do I forget to post, yes I have forgotten… lots. lol Also, Steve now just sets a “playlist” to play which has eliminated the need to constantly fiddle with Spotify. Is it perfect? Nope, if he gets a notification… he easily tunes out. Frustrating? Yes… terribly.

    I like this fall edit idea! Hmmm, there’s something to think about!

  4. I hope your family in Florida is okay and that they’re simply conserving power! The images we’ve seen are scary, and I certainly hope they and their house are okay.

    I’ve not heard the term “phubbing” before, but I well know the feeling. My issue is not so much the phone use but the lack of attention for what’s in front of someone in favor of what’s on the phone. My husband is frequently so caught up in work stuff on his phone that he misses entire conversations. I am constantly reminding him to focus on the present!

  5. Sending all the juju to Brant and family. I hope you get some news today so you can relax a little bit . . . XO

    I have never heard the term “phubbing” before, but I see it happen all the time. We try really hard not to bring our phones to “conversation times,” and we tend to agree to the “rules” about using our phones when we are in “conversation times.” It’s a challenge to Put.Down.The.Phone . . . but worth trying to do — especially when we’re around each other.

  6. I hope you get information soon that lowers your anxiety level about Brant and family. That would be so frustratingly worrisome! I’m sure they will have a bit of a road back in that community. I have an aversion to my cellular phone. I hate talking on the phone, don’t participate in social media (except to lurk a bit on things that interest me, not people), and I am resigned to most people feeling like their phones are the holy grail. Frankly, I just don’t get it. The fall edit seems like a good strategy. I’ll have to think about that.

  7. My friends in Florida are also without power–I’m anxiously waiting to hear from them. Thank you for the interesting NPR link. And Phubbing! Guilty of that on occasion. It’s interesting that my school has “banned” cell phone use during the school day and to see the difference it’s making in how students interact at the end of class: instead of being consumed with their notifications, they’re talking to each other! And I like the idea of the life edit. You’ve inspired me. Sorry to go on and on but you struck a chord with me.

  8. Do you remember where you read the article about doing a life-edit in the fall? I’d like to read that. Need to do some life-editing.

  9. Hope you hear from Brant soon. My sister and niece do that phubbing thing a lot. I’m always telling them to get off their phones.

  10. oh Carole – I hope you’ve had some good news about your son and family in Florida. The photos I’m seeing are devastating (and I’m so grateful the storm appears to be veering away from us).

  11. I hope all is well for your son and his family! That must be such a scary thing to not know about your home or even when you’ll be able to see it. Big hugs to you all!

  12. I’m reading this late and am glad that Brandt and his family are ok. The fall editing thing sounds interesting. Like Melanie, I would love to read the article if you still have the link. I know I could definitely use some editing.

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