Sock Madness and Sadness
I’ve never considered myself to be a fast knitter. I actually think my time is rather average – faster than some but slower than some, too. And yet, with the pressure of Sock Madness, I managed to knit a sock in a day on Saturday.
That, my friends, is a new record for me.
And I woke up Sunday morning and thought: my progress is good. I may not be loving the pressure of knit, knit, knit, but I’m making progress and I’ll get most of sock two, it not all of sock two, done by the end of the day. I was hedging my bets because I knew, what with church in the morning and our kids coming over in the afternoon, that I wouldn’t have unlimited knitting time, but I still thought I’d have decent knitting time. And I still believed that it was a priority.
progress as of Sunday night
And then our kids (meaning my stepson Brant, his wife Heather, and my step granddaughter Ambrynn) came over and dropped a bombshell. They’re moving to Florida in July. We’re in Massachusetts, in case you aren’t following this geographically.
Florida.
That’s damned far away form Massachusetts. I get the reasons for the move, I really do. Massachusetts is expensive, they aren’t getting ahead, they can’t afford a house, Brant would have to work two jobs and he’d never see Ambrynn, Heather’s mom and brother are in Florida. I get all of that, I really do.
And you know, you want your kids to be independent and self-sufficient. That’s sort of the whole point, isn’t it? You raise them to go out in the world and make a good life. This is what Brant and Heather believe is best for their family and it’s exciting for them. But for Dale and I, it’s just so sad. We managed to hold it together while they were here, putting on a brave face for their sake and self-medicating with a martini or two. And then we went to bed and cried together and felt miserable. We also realized that this is something new for us to face. A challenge of a new sort for our marriage, learning to miss such close members of our family. I know we’ll figure it out and I know there are worse tragedies in life but I just keep coming back to this photo and thinking how precious few of these we’ll be taking in the coming years.
Suddenly, competitive sock knitting just doesn’t seem that important anymore.
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Oh I’m sorry part of your family is moving. It’s hard when life changes are so drastic. Massachusetts is an impossible place to start out when compared to places with lower cost of living.
The socks are lovely and I think you are a speedy knitter to get all that done in one short weekend particularly since we lost an hour and all.
Oh, Carole, I am sorry. One of the hardest parts of moving our family to Massachusetts from Chicago was taking the children so far away from their grandparents.
Trying to look on the bright side … air fares to Florida aren’t that expensive … and now you have an excuse to go somewhere warm in the winter!
Sorry to hear the news. My brother lives a half hour away and I never see him and I think that it is horrible. We have also debated on moving from Indiana to Alaska or Idaho, but then we think of our kids and their grandparents. And we just can’t do it. Buck up and hang in there. Thank God that there are phones, snail mail and internet!
So sorry Carole. Look at it this way, you’ll have quite a nice climate to come to in winter. It’s in the 80s here right now. I wonder who feels the growing pains more, them or us. Hugs
Oh, Carole, I’m so sorry.
Oh dear….I’m sorry :(. I know that the day will come when one of my 5 will move far away and I dread it. You want what is best for your children, but somehow you hope that best is still very close too.
You may find after a spell they may come back home too. It’s really hard to stay away from New England 🙂
Whoops….nice sock too!
Just when you think life is all about socks…it’s smacks you up side the head. Life just isn’t a beach.
I’m so sorry…I know how hard it is! My thoughts are with you.
oh i’m sorry. having grown up far from my extended family and now living thousands of miles from my own, i’ve really grown fond of living so close to my inlaws. so i can imagine how sad you must feel. but hey! now you can go to florida when it’s freezing here!
who knows, maybe it’s only temporary.
Oh, that’s too bad! I moved from Melrose to Newton and my mom sobbed for a month. I can’t imagine if I moved out of state. It’s a v.cheap flight from TF Greene to Florida. You can quite possibly “pop down” for a weekend.
And I agree: it’s hard to stay away from New England.
Florida! That totally sucks. And it sucks that New England is so hard to make a start in. I love it here, and I love being near my family, but sometimes I feel like if I’m ever going to own a home and keep my head above water I’ll have to move south. What a tough decision for them.
*hug*
Oh, no! But I do seccond Ruth’s sentiments. There are pretty decent fares to Florida esp over a weekend- imagine your bare toes in the sand, warm sun, a martini or two while we freeze out asses off up here :-). Many hugs to you and Dale.
As someone who’s moved far away from family herself I can tell you that they may be excited now but it’s going to be tough for them too. It sucks that we have to make choices like that doesn’t it. Hang in there!
I dread the day when that happens to me. Mine are both still here at home, but I know the time will come sooner than I think. My newly-pregnant niece is moving from the Midwest to East Coast next week and I know it’s killing my sister to let her go. But let them go, we must! Hang in there.
What a downer – to “lose” part of your family to places far far away. It really stinks that this area is so hard for people to make a living in. Just think of the fun FLA vacations you have ahead of you though.
Carole. I understand how you feel as I live on Long Island and my 2 youngest sons moved to NC. 12 driving hours away and my middle one is having their third. Its a difficult thing but as you say the reasons are sound for them. We just have a hard time with it. Good luck.
So sorry Carole. As someone else said, it will provide a nice warm vacation destination and the time that you spend together will be all the more special. I spent this weekend in Ottawa with my 2 sibs who live in different states, celebrating the wedding of a cousin who’s moving to London. It was a super-special time.
You and Dale have a lot to be proud of, for the way you handled their news. Brant and family will appreciate your support as they go on this new adventure, especially in light of knowing it is a true loss for you.
With that said, my MIL lives in FL (we’re in PA) and she has a very close relationship with both of my children. We talk a lot, we video-conference online, and we make the effort to be together as much as we can. While I miss that day-to-day relationship, the quality of the relationship is all about effort.
You and Dale can do it.
Oh Carole, how sad for you and Dale! You are right that it is probably a good move for them, but I’m sure it’s going to be hard to watch them go. On the bright side, you can visit them in the winter 🙂
Awww Carole. Sweet socks and then BAM. Now I’m sniffing. *sniff* I’m sorry to know about your sadness. I sure hope those kids know how much you’re both going to miss them – with that stiff upper lip y’all kept and all. Awwww. I left home just a few weeks after high school graduation and have rarely been back in the last 20+ years. It’s hard to think you’re not really missed… hard to be away. Hard to make changes not knowing what the future brings. Best wishes to you, the growing little family… and thank Heaven for “free long distance” and digital cameras that take little movies… and youtube. 🙂
I’m so sorry, Carole. Hugs to you and Dale.
That stinks. 🙁
It wasn’t until I was a mother that I realized how much my siblings and I have tortured our parents…going off to Peace Corps, studying abroad, moving to far away states. My parents are only 5 hrs away but sometimes even that feels way too far.
but just think of all the battlefields you can visit on those drives to Florida….
p.s. It really does suck that it’s so hard for young people to build a life in New England. DH and I manage, but only b/c we live in the “poorer” part of western MA. I think that we are losing a lot of our young families to other parts of the country, and it makes me sad.
Oh, Carole, that’s so hard. When you and Dale are ready, though, think on the bright side. At one time when a family member moved that far, you pretty much knew you would never, ever see them again. Not so today. 30 or 20 or even 10 years ago, you would be limited to the weekly phone call and annual visit. Not so today, as others have said. Between cheap l.d., e-mail, instant message, and video conferencing, you will all keep very much in touch. And the best thing? They are moving to FL, not KS or IN or NB. It will be a warm, lovely spot to visit for half the year. My in-laws moved to FL a week before our older son was born, and he still managed to have a closer relationship with them than he might have if they just lived in the next state. When my kids were little I’d fly down with them every time we saw a fire sale airfare <$129 apiece.
I agree with Katy! It’s hard when family moves away. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like when my kids are grown and go in their own seperate directions. Hang in there Carole!
Yikes. I’m sorry Carole. If there is a bright side though, just think! You’ll have a warm place to visit in the worst of those cold New England winters! *** hugs ***
Was that bombshell totally out of the blue? I can imagine the need to cry after. I can’t even imagine how you must feel. I’m still struggling with the fact that my baby will be 3 this summer. How can my baby already be 3?
Maybe you guys can look forward to visiting Ambrynn and taking her to the beach!
As someone who has moved very, very far away from family (from Maine to Germany, with some stops in between), I can assure you that it is a difficult decision for all involved. I hate that my kids are so far away from their grandparents, but like your stepson, I believe we are doing what is best for our family. Being so far away just makes the time that we spend with our families even more special. OK, that probably didn’t do much to make you feel any better about the situation, did it? How about I send a virtual hug instead.
Oh, I’m so sorry. It sucks to be away from loved ones.
Oh, Carole. I’m so sorry. It is hard being away from the family (I know) and especially when Ambrynn will be growing and changing so much. It will be more of an effort to go down to Florida, but one you and Dale will make. And you will cherish your time together even more!
Your post hits particularly close to home for me right now, Carole. As someone who has been, and soon will be again, on both sides of this move, let me just say that it really is hard for everyone. It’s hard to leave, and it’s hard to stay behind. But you’ll figure out a way to make this work because this is your family and you love them. I’ve lived down the road from family I never talked to, but I’ve lived across the country from family I spoke to nearly every day. It’s the quality of the relationship, not the quantity of face-to-face time that will be important as you, Dale, Brant, Heather, and Ambrynn begin this new phase of your lives.
Love,
E
Aw, crud. At least there’s email and IM and YouTube and blogs and… crud.
Oh, I’m so sorry. It is hard, trust me I know, as someone who has moved away from the nuclear unit. It will be okay, but it is a tough adjustment. (((BIG HUGS)))
My brother and I have been relatively far away from my folks for a long time. After growing up in Michigan, I went to college in Texas and then moved to Chicago. My brother finished school and after a brief stint at home, started a job in Houston where he’s been ever since.
I think my mom always knew that Joe and I would end up in different places than they were. Ann Arbor is a small place and the kinds of things we were training for didn’t have a lot of representation in the area.
On one hand, I know they would love for both of us to be closer, on the other, they’ve found ways to stay in touch and be close to us. My dad has gotten really good with IM clients and we all do phone and email. We plan holiday breaks to include family (and that includes holidays in Ann Arbor, Houston and Chicago) and my mom has already told me that when I have children, they’re going to come to stay with grandma and grandpa for a week or so every now and again.
It’s certainly not the same as if we were nearby, but I think we all feel that we’re a close family and we enjoy the time we’re together. And my mom and dad tell me that they enjoy having the opportunity to travel and be taken care of by their children for a change 🙂
Good luck with your transition. I’m sure it will be hard, but I suspect you will find a way to make it work well.
First of all, really big (((HUGS))).
There’s a lot of comfort in these comments, lots of wisdom and love, heartache and, well, it’s just crappy news and I’m so sorry. You never know what will happen, though — and everything happens for a reason. The kids have to do what’s best for them as a family.
Ouch! That is a constant fear for me! It’s been drummed into my kids from birth that they are to never move away from me! So far it’s worked!
My thoughts are with you Carole!
I’m sorry. It’s very hard when they don’t live close any more. I see lots of Florida vacations coming up for both of you.
Oh Carole, I can imagine your sadness. We are on the opposite end – we are the ones who will be moving eventually (see my blog post today). I feel bad that we won’t be so close to my parents. We are going to stay here though until our daughter graduates from high school (she has 6 more years).
Your kids are so lucky to have understanding parents. You realize that they are doing this for their own future – not to punish you guys or anything. And the close relationship Dale has with his granddaughter won’t be broken by miles. It’s not necessarily the everyday seeing of each other – it’s knowing that you are loved and cared about very much no matter what the distance. And it looks like Ambrynn has that.
I’m so sorry to hear it 🙁 I know all the conflicting emotions you must feel (and your kids must feel) as the children who are constantly debating whether we could make a better life outside of MA, and the cost of not being near my family (which would be hard for all of us).
On the flip side, and I know it’s not the same, but more reasons to go to Florida can’t be altogether a terrible thing. Cheap flights on Spirit Airlines (Logan) and Southwest Airlines (TFGreen) – especially if you sign up for their airline membership and get the special emails. Seriously, you can get flights for like $80 round trip.
Can anyone say Spring Training games with the kids and warm weather and hot dogs? Yeah baby….
There is a flip side… a warm place to visit – and out of all the places they could have choosen, cheap flights to FL are offered frequently.
I made your chicken pasta dish on Sunday night – big hit!
Hi Carol-
I feel your pain. Especially tough with a wee one involved. But closeness is a state of mind, and with pictures, they’ll keep you involved and up to date. My daughter (age 25) lives 1000 miles from me and we manage just fine with frequent phone calls, and lots of e-mailed photos. Best wishes, all will be well. There are creative ways to stay in their lives!
Hugs to you…
I’m sorry some of your family is moving. I know how hard it was for my mom when I told her we were moving from Georgia (where we were only an hour away) to Virginia (12 hours away) with her only two grandchildren, then 2-years-old and newborn. It was and still is hard for me as well.
Leaving family behind is the hardest part of our decision too. I’m hoping your family and ours makes this transition smoothly… The visits won’t be as frequent, but maybe they’ll be more special.
That really is a bombshell. But I keep thinking of a tile in one of the shops downstairs from work that says, “The road to a friend’s house is never long”. It won’t be easy on any of you, but Love and Family are matters of the heart more than of geography, and obviously you’be got that going on in spades.
I’m slowly learning this lesson and thankfully my babies are still 11 and 14. You made me think of how my mother feels with me always on the move as a Navy wife. She tried to move to Florida last fall but ended up back in Weymouth. My mom is my Massachusetts anchor. With her being there, it always links me back to where I’m from. It made it easier on me when she returned to think that it is still simple for me to visit her and all the things I miss about Mass any time I can. You and Dale will be that anchor for your stepchildren and grandchild.
I know what you are going through. It happened to us ten years ago when Tara (my daughter) was just 21. We lived in Florida then…Tampa to be exact. And, her company wanted to move her to Phoenix, Arizona! It took a lot of adjustment on my part and there are still days that I wish I could run down the street to her apartment and just hug her…Stay strong…
Goodness! I am so sorry for your sadness, but I perfectly understand their need to move out of Mass. We also live in Mass and although we have no plans to move, making ends meet with children is a daunting task! I hope that they are happy in their new home and that you have the opportunity to visit with them often!
oh Carole I’m so sorry :o( We’re dealing with Dobby looking at colleges and getting ready to move out to go to college – which isn’t the same by a long shot, but it’s forcing me to face the fact that the little girl who used to want stuff from the ‘freezerfrater’ is no more…