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Ten On Tuesday

Hipstamatic Sailbot

The topic for this week is a timely one and inspired by the Hannah’s upcoming departure for college. That’s right, my friends, my baby girl is leaving the next on Sunday. I’m holding it together okay but we’ll see how I do when the moment actually arrives. In the meantime, let’s discuss 10 Things You Wish You Had Known When You Started College.

I wish I had known:

  1. That you don’t have to be best friends with your roommate. I tried and I failed at it. It’s good to be friendly but it’s not necessary to be friends.
  2. That it’s okay to eat a meal by yourself. I was completely paranoid about entering the dining room and having no one to sit with while I ate. At this time in my life that sounds great!
  3. That being homesick isn’t the end of the world. I got over it in a relatively short time but those first few weeks were incredibly lonely for me.
  4. How to relax and enjoy myself more. I had a wonderful college experience but I was pretty uptight about a lot of stuff back then.
  5. That it’s okay to change your mind. Drop a class. Change your major. Reinvent yourself. This is the time to experiment.
  6. How to live on a budget. I did pretty well with this but mostly because I got lucky. It’s a really important lesson.
  7. That the stuff that’s stressing you out or bothering you or seems like a huge deal just – isn’t that important. Let it go, it will be fine.
  8. That not having your driver’s license doesn’t make you a loser. I didn’t get mine until after graduation and I turned out just fine. Sometimes it’s better to wait.
  9. That the friends you make now will be your friends for life. I got lucky with this one, too, and came out of my college years with 2 wonderful friends that I still have today. This means you need to pick your friends wisely.
  10. That reaching out is better than sitting in your room alone. Being vulnerable is a gift.

I am going to make Hannah read all these lists today. I bet we will both learn a lot.

This Post Has 24 Comments

  1. omg if not getting a drivers license until after you graduate makes you a loser than what kind of loser must i be (i was 38 years old before i learned how to drive). heh.

  2. I learned that just because upperclassmen were older didn’t make them more mature.

    My daughter goes off to college 2 weeks from Friday. I’m wondering how I’m going to handle it. I know knitting will be part of the answer.

  3. Hannah off to college? It seems surreal. If only I’d known that self confidence is different than having an ego. I wish I’d known that not every one was looking at me (they’re wrap up in their own insecurities). Making, keeping, having grrlfriends is the best thing you can do for yourself. Good luck, Hannah. Have fun! Study hard!

  4. I got an “F” in my first clinical rotation when I was a freshman in the nursing program at college!!! But I knew I wanted to be a nurse, so I practiced those temps and BP’s until I passed!! 41 years later I’m proud to say I’m still working as a nurse…and hopefully helped a few people along the way!! If you have a goal–stick with it!!!

  5. I wish I had taken every opportunity to travel. Life gets full of responsibilities and traveling is an easy thing to set to the side. Go places, Hannah! If there is a school trip, find the money and go. I wish I had understood that everyone is the center of their own universe, and I didn’t need to feel insecure. I wish I had realized that so much doesn’t matter.

  6. love ten on tuesday. i’m sending it to my neice.. she leaves for college next week. i think i’ll send it to her mom as well!

  7. My older son’s been home for a month and going back for his 3rd year today. It’s not any easier! In fact, his freshman year he needed to get out & spread his wings, now he is more mature and it’s so fun to have him home, I hate to have him go.
    That doesn’t help does it? Your advice will, though!

  8. All 10 points are good advice. And YOU will be fine – after a week or two. The first vacation, whenever that is, will be a test for both of you. There tends to be 1) sleeping in all day, 2) staying up all night, 3) disregard for formerly accepted parental rules re: being out, coming in, and neatness. At least that was so in our household and in others we know!

  9. My baby, is going to community college for the first two years, but the list is the same. I am going to make her read the lists also, if she reads it from enough people it make sink in that Mom has some idea what about the whole thing.

  10. I predict that you will be fine with it. Its really the ultimate expression of your success at parenting, you awesome mom, you.

    Trust me, the parents in the waiting rooms of the state prisons who are in there to visit their kids would love to have your problem. Perspective is everything.

  11. 1. That if you chose the wrong school, it is not the end of the world…. a transfer is always a possibility.

    2. Travel! This may be the only time in your life you can actually live in another country for a whole semester, or a year. Don’t assume you do this later…. it is much harder later!

    3. That where you choose to go to college may very well become where you choose to live the rest of your life. (So we parents should encourage our kids to go places we would like to visit or move….. our son went to school in Michigan and lives there now, and our daughter chose New Hampshire. My husband and I just retired and moved to NH so we could be near one of our kids!)

    4. Take classes in anything that interests you, and don’t be afraid to change your major. Neither my husband or I knew what we wanted to be when we grew up until we attended grad school, but we chose wisely when we did choose!

    5. Enjoy your time and don’t rush to move on. I got married and transferred to another school at the end of my junior year. It made sense then, but what I didn’t realize until later was that I only had 4 years in my entire life to live in a dorm (which I loved) while I would be married for a long time (today is actually our 42nd anniversary!)
    I’m happy to be married for the rest of my life, but I wish I had that one year of dorm life back!

  12. How about: Just because the cafeteria has ice cream 24 hours a day, that doesn’t mean it is a good idea to eat it 4 times a day…

    Good Luck to Hannah!

  13. Good points, I loved eating a meal alone with a magazine or good book. Still do it today and some people can’t understand it. I am so glad to have two years of college student parenting left and ten behind me!

  14. My advice for Hannah is the same that I gave to my DD (heading away for her freshman year in six days). Don’t let the first day of classes stress you out. Every professor goes over their class schedule for the semester which includes listing all of the papers, homework assignments, quizzes, mid-term tests and final that you will be expected to do. After hearing about ALL the work you will do for the whole semester it is easy to feel overwhelmed and even scared. I felt this way every first day of classes when I was in college until I saw the pattern that I always felt stressed after the first day of a semester. Once I finally figured that out I started just ignoring the stressed out feeling that first day. Sure, it is a lot of work but you have a whole semester to get it done. It is doable. Just go to all your classes, study for your quizzes and tests, ask for help if you need it and do the assigned homework : one day at a time. And you will get through each semester. Just do what you need to do one day at a time.

    And for Carol: this is my advice. When you send Hannah off keep focused on the fact that this is what Hannah needs next in her life. She needs it for her education, for her career and her life. Keep focused on that. She will also still need you, just in different ways.

  15. I actually got a little sentimental reading this one. If it wasn’t 10:30 AM, I might just go have a mudslide, play 80s music, call you, and reminisce! As for Hannah…ah the concoction of excitement and anxiety she must be feeling. Let me know if you think you’ll have time to stop by on Sunday when you leave WSC.

  16. I have just come back from vacation and am catching up. I love your list (and the others). I think the biggest thing that I wish I had known was to try new things. There is no better opportunity to try things that are outside your comfort zone, and I wish I had done more of that.

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