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This weekend was good. Different. But still good. And as I sit here and type that it was a good weekend, well, it feels strange, because the better part of this weekend was spent with my dear friend Doreen as she and her family mourned the death of her brother Todd.

But, you know, this is what we (as good humans) do. When we have a friend who is grieving, when we have a friend who is hurting, when we have a friend that we can help – we show up. We suspend our plans and schedules. We go to wakes and funerals. We send flowers and help with tributes and set aside everything because it is in these small moments – the moments when we hold hands and shed tears and sing hymns and pray – these are the moments when we know what it is to be alive.

I believe that it is a sacred privilege to be a part of this process and I am so grateful that I could be there with Doreen. It was an incredible honor to help her put her memories in words and then to read those words aloud for her at the gathering after Todd’s funeral. It wasn’t easy and it certainly wasn’t something I planned, but when my friend of 32 years looked at me and said, “I can’t do this. Will you do this for me?,” I swallowed hard and said, “Yes. Of course. It will be my honor.”

So, while some parts of the weekend were spent reading and knitting, watching football and drinking beer, taking photos and prepping for our Halloween party, the most important parts – the parts that will stay with Dale and I – are the parts where we were privileged to mourn with our friends.

It’s the price of love. It’s what we do. And it’s so so worth it.

This Post Has 16 Comments

  1. And that, precisely and perfectly, sums up why you are such a tremendous friend. So very glad you could be there for Doreen.

  2. Friends, the family we choose. You have aptly described when we are at our best as friends and fellow human beings on this planet together. Hope there were times of rejuvenation in it even as you gave of yourself to those in need.

  3. Cards, flowers, and sympathy are all important, but the most important thing we can do is to Be There. You are indeed a good friend and human being. Condolences to you, Doreen, and her family.

  4. My condolences to Doreen. It’s a tough loss – and she is lucky to have a friend who understands so well. I’m glad the rest of your weekend went well.

  5. So sorry for everyone’s loss. What a great friend you are. Your beautiful writing always lingers with me.

  6. So sad for Doreen’s loss. You are a fine friend (you’ve always been there for me) and you’re right about it being the price of love, but also the privilege of love and a gift of (your) love.

  7. My sympathies go to Doreen and her family. I hope your ability and willingness to be there for her helped make a horrible time more bearable.

  8. I’m so sorry for Doreen and her family’s loss…but grateful she has you as a friend. Wishing everyone peace. xo.

  9. Thank you for your friendship love, support during these difficult times. Peace for your friend and her family and you.

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