It's a day that only comes 4 times a year, friends, the day that Bonny…
Read With Us: Nesting Discussion Day
The day has come when we talk about our current Read With Us book, Nesting by Roisin O’Donnell. I know many of you enjoyed the book immensely and are eager to talk about it. We’ll have our discussion tonight on Zoom at 7pm EST (it’s not too late to sign up if you’re interested) and in the meantime, Bonny and Kym and I are hosting discussions on our blogs to get you thinking about the book.
I’d like us to focus on the lack of a social safety net Ciara faces when she makes the decision to leave Ryan. This is Ireland, not the USA, and I sort of expected things to be slightly better there given that they have public healthcare but the little bit of research I have done shows that is not the case. Given that, here are the questions on my mind:
How does Ciara’s story shed light on systemic failures—particularly in social services, housing, and financial support—that make it nearly impossible for her to break free? What form of social safety net—safe housing, child allowance, legal aid, emotional support networks—might have changed Ciara’s odds? Where does the novel suggest these are absent or inaccessible?
I look forward to hearing what you think.
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While I thankfully haven’t had to take advantage of such support services, I get the sense that generally they are not at widely or easily available as they should be and thus contribute to the very real difficulty women face in trying to leave an abusive situation. I think it’s all part of a larger issue of society’s being much harder for women and especially women who are mothers. We already know that women who leave the workforce to have children have a harder time reentering it, and if you add trying to leave a relationship in which your partner was financially supporting you, you’re facing incredible barriers. That Ciara manages to leave and keep her children in spite of all this shows just how strong she is.
Excellent question, Carole… and one I thought about lots while reading Nesting. I, too, was initially surprised by the very “holey” safety net… but then I considered what I will call The Religion Factor… and it all made more sense to me. I am not saying this is right… but it is what it is. I think Sarah makes some very valid points that support this… we like to think there is equality, but for so many that is not the case.
The thing I really loved about this story was the “safety net” that kind of grew around Ciara… those she met who were in the same place she was.
And I really, really loved how the author talked about the lack of a social safety net in her afterward. It was so deeply moving.
Luckily, I haven’t needed these services, but any or all of them could have helped Ciara. I think the first thing many women might do is look for family support. Ciara did contact her mother and sister and tried to leave Ireland for England where her family lived, but that was the first roadblock her husband put in her way. Her husband had gradually narrowed her world during their relationship so she no longer had access to family, friends, or a job, and I was saddened that the bureaucracy in Ireland was as bad as in the US.
Fortunately, I too have not needed any of the social support services. It was heartbreaking to read how any safety net didn’t really exist for Ciara (until, as Kat mentioned, she made her own with new relationships). Not being in that type of a relationship, it was difficult at times for me to understand how controlling Ciara’s husband was and also difficult to understand how/why Ciara had trouble leaving him.
I was surprised that Ireland didn’t have better services available. I did think the hotel aspect was interesting. Locally, I know we have a women’s shelter but from what I know it’s just a building. I liked how the others who lived in the hotel became a family to her. As I read I just kept hoping for her to break free.