Eye Candy Friday

May 29, 2020 By Carole

There is a flower farm not too far from me that sells incredibly beautiful blooms and bouquets. They are popular and sell out quickly but while Dale was in the hospital I was able to score a ranunculus bouquet. The pick up process is simple: you drive up, they check your name on a clipboard, and they bring out what you ordered. I’ll admit to being a little disappointed when the ranunculus they brought me were all white; I was hoping for pinks or yellows. Yet when I brought these home and put them in my bedroom they looked perfect against the gray walls and brought me a wonderful feeling of peace.

I hope you have some peaceful feelings this weekend.

Three On Thursday

May 28, 2020 By Carole

This week I’ve got 3 random things running around in my head to share with you. It’s going to be a bit . . . stream of consciousness and maybe even a little whiny, I think . . . so buckle up.

Dale is doing well. His leg is healing and PT comes twice a week and he is making progress. There is swelling in his foot and it’s a challenge to get him to lay down on the couch each day and raise it above his heart. He’s a guy who is generally very active and this forced inactivity isn’t easy for him. Other challenges include sleeping (we’ve switched sides in bed to protect his broken leg and I’ve adjusted to that easier than he has), showering in a chair without flooding the bathroom, and maneuvering through our very old house with the aid of a walker or wheelchair (I pick things up and put them down a lot). Still. It’s pretty much all good, particularly when I consider the other scenarios I could be facing.
I am discovering daily just how much work Dale did around this house. Because he spent several hours at home each day while I was at work he did the laundry and emptied the dishwasher. He also took care of all things outside like trash and recycling, filling the bird feeders, and pretty much all of the yard work. He got heavy stuff for me. He cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. And, he took pretty good care of himself, too. Now I am doing all of my own stuff plus all of his stuff plus doing the things he can’t do to care for himself. In other words, I am tired.
We discovered on Tuesday that the freezer in our garage stopped working. It had only happened a short time before we realized it, thankfully, so most everything was able to be saved. My immediate thought was, no big deal, I’ll just call our local appliance store and have them deliver a new one. Well, friends, guess what? Freezers are the new toilet paper. That’s right, there isn’t a freezer to be found as apparently they are in great demand during a pandemic. I’m not sure I understand the logic in that but it does put us in the rather unfortunate situation of having to replace something we’ve always had and being unable to do so because now all the cool kids (see what I did there?) want to have a freezer.

And that’s where I’m at this Thursday. Finding time each day to write a blog post is still a little challenging so if you don’t always see a new post from me, please don’t worry, just know that I’m busy and occasionally overwhelmed.

If you wrote a post for today please include your link below and thanks for joining in this Thursday!

One Little Word: May 2020 Update

May 26, 2020 By Carole

Today I am joining with Honoré and sharing an update on my journey with my 2020 One Little Word, Open.

I chose this word late last summer during a guided meditation. Part of the meditation was to visualize a box and see what was inside. When I did this the word Open floated up out of the box. At the time that I chose it I had one specific thing in mind: Hannah’s wedding plans. I haven’t talked about it here at all but Hannah and her fiance Mikey are planning to get married in August of 2021. It will be a super small wedding. In Iceland.

Friends. This is not even close to anything I ever dreamed for my girlie’s wedding. And accepting and adjusting to the fact that this is her dream has been challenging for me. Of course I understand that it’s their wedding and it’s about their dreams and not mine. But I’m her mom and I’ve pictured what her wedding would be like many, many times and it sure wasn’t in Iceland. And it certainly wasn’t without us being surrounded by lots of family and friends. So the word Open was initially about being open to this destination wedding. And beyond that being open to ideas that aren’t my own and dreams that don’t match the ones I’ve had. I’ve made a lot of progress on this front, Hannah and I have had some heart-to-heart talks about what this wedding will look like and how it will work and I have definitely found myself being more open to the whole thing.

But this word. Oh, this word. I feel like each time I make progress with it the universe throws something else at me to challenge me.

You are good now with your daughter’s wedding plans? Great. How about coping with a pandemic.

You are acknowledging your feelings surrounding the pandemic and actually enjoying being at home with your husband and your daily routine? Awesome. How about your husband gets hit by a car?

The lessons in dealing with Dale’s accident are new and changing every day. The overarching one, though, the one I picked up on almost immediately, was that I need to be open to accepting help. Help in handling the work that Dale usually did that is falling on me. (I’m looking at you, heavy ceramic containers that need to be filled with plants and placed on the deck.) Help in coping with the trauma and emotional fall out of this experience. Help in the form of food and gifts and flowers from our friends and neighbors.

Learning to be open to help is a tough lesson for me as I tend to view accepting help as a form of weakness. Despite that, though, I am seeing that allowing people to help me is actually an action of strength, for it takes strength to say I need help with this.

Being open to help is a whole new world for me and I’m seeing the benefits of it daily. But if the universe decides that this is the last big lesson I need to get from this word I’d be okay with that.

Eye Candy Friday

May 22, 2020 By Carole

Here are some cherry blossoms from earlier this month, I just love those pink buds and white flowers against those green leaves. When this tree blooms it always makes me smile and I almost missed it this year due to the pandemic. I’m glad I caught this photo before it was completely done blooming.

Enjoy the blooms wherever you are this weekend and I’ll catch back up with you on Tuesday.

Three On Thursday

May 21, 2020 By Carole

Hello, friends. I’m trying to re-establish a routine and a very important part of my routine is writing this blog. I can’t think of a better time to jump back in than with Three On Thursday since I know several of you participate in this weekly exchange of ideas.

Today I’ve got three things you should do for someone who has experienced a traumatic event.

Check in with them every day. It can be a text, a phone call, an email, whatever is easiest. Tell them you are thinking of them, ask them how they are, and (this one is key, I think) tell them there’s no need to respond. By doing this you are letting them know you care and are thinking about them but also that you aren’t putting any burden or responsibility on them to take care of you.
Do something for them without asking. I had countless people say, let me know if there’s anything you need. That’s wonderful and I appreciate it very much. But even better were the people who just showed up. I had a friend drop off coffee and avocado toast from my favorite coffee shop. She didn’t ask, she just did it. And that was smart because the reality is that if she had asked I would have said no. Someone, and I still don’t know who, had a meal delivered from a local restaurant. Again, they didn’t ask. They just did it and it was a wonderful and thoughtful surprise. One day last week my sister-in-law Mary called me and said she was going for a walk and she wanted me to join her. She didn’t really ask, she made it pretty clear that she wasn’t going to let me decline. And oh boy did I want to say no but when I tried she insisted so I did it. And it was one of the best things I did all week. If you can’t think of anything specific you could always try saying, what can I do for you today? Providing a specific timeline is helpful when it comes to filling an immediate need.
Send a card or a note. This seems like such a simple thing but it really means a lot to walk out to the mailbox and gather a stack of cards to read. Just knowing that someone cares enough to make that effort is huge.

As an update, we are doing well. Dale saw the surgeon on Tuesday and he said his leg is healing right as it should be. The Physical Therapist comes for the first time today. We are learning to adjust to his temporary mobility challenges and navigating new territory as we face the emotional fall out of this whole experience. I’ve said it before but I’m going to say it again because it means so much: the love, support, and compassion we have received from all of you is making a gigantic difference. Thank you.

Don’t forget to include your link if you wrote a post for this week. It’s good to be back.