We interrupt our regularly scheduled Eye Candy Friday post to acknowledge that today is my girlie’s 29th birthday. Gulp.
She’s had quite a year and I’m so very proud of her. She’s smart and caring, has a job she loves that requires a great deal of compassion and mad teacher skillz, she’s a kind and thoughtful daughter, and now she’s also a wife!
Won’t you join me in wishing Hannah a Happy Birthday? Thanks, friends!
P.S. It’s a long weekend so I’ll catch you back in this space on Tuesday. Enjoy!
My father-in-law Jack is 95 years young today, a fact that fills me not only with awe but also with joy. I’m someone who generally has no trouble writing about big moments like this but when it comes to Jack, well, I find myself a little overwhelmed . . . in a very good way.
I’m not quite sure how to explain the gift of his presence in my life. My mother died when I was 32. My stepfather died when I was 40. I’ve been an orphan for a long time and yet, I’ve never felt like one because through all of that, I have had Jack. Sure, he’s not a parent in the typical sense of the word. I mean, he didn’t raise me. But he’s been there for me in a myriad of ways for almost 25 years, from the littlest moments like waving across the back yard to each other, to really big moments like celebrating my political victories. He’s reliable and trustworthy, he’s smart and funny, and he’s the heart and soul of this family in a million different ways.
You may recall that we almost lost him 4 years ago this summer due to a tickborne illness. It was a scary time in my life and it really opened my eyes to just how much I love this man. I mean, I knew I loved him, but I sort of took that love at face value. And, I had always considered how I would need to help Dale through the grief of losing Jack, because Dale has a long and deep seated fear about this that goes back to his boyhood, but I had never considered what the depth of my own grief might be until Jack got so sick. The lesson I learned then was that Dale and I will have to lean on each other when (a very long time from now) that time comes. Because while Dale’s loss will be more significant than mine, we will both be devastated.
When COVID hit, I was more concerned about keeping Jack safe than I was about anyone else in my circle. Dale visited him regularly but was super careful with hand washing and masks and keeping distanced. I didn’t see Jack at all except from across the yard, not wanting to expose him to any germs I might be carrying since I was going to work every day. Back in January, when Dale told me the VA called Jack and set up a vaccine appointment for him, I burst into tears of relief and gratitude. And when I got vaccinated myself, I vowed that Jack would be the first person outside of my bubble that I hugged.
This is may be a bit of a downer as a birthday post but I sincerely hope it conveys just how grateful I am to be part of Jack’s world and to celebrate another trip around the sun for him. And I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that, at 95, he’s still living on his own in his own home. It helps that he’s right next door, of course, but he’s independent with his own friends and social life and hobbies. It’s truly remarkable.
He doesn’t have a computer but Dale has shared many posts with him over the years and you can be sure we will share this one with him, too. I sure would love it if we had lots of birthday wishes to read to him.
In other words . . . you know what to do in the comments.
Friends, I’m not sure how it happened but on Sunday our little Jackie turned 3. A big party like he’s had the last two years was out of the question due to COVID but Dale and I, along with Hannah and Mikey, went over to his house for the afternoon and we had a grand time.
Hannah had gotten Jackie a bouncy house as his present and, as luck would have it, the thing was delivered on Thursday and they got to keep it until Monday. To say that Jackie was living his best life while jumping up in down in there with all of his favorite people would be a gigantic understatement. Even this Nana managed to haul herself in there and jump around with him for a bit!
I brought over some cheese and crackers and pepperoni (Jackie’s favorite) and Hannah made a beautiful platter of candy. Dale was all over those sweets and I think he’d probably prefer something like that for Friday Night Snacks instead of our usual savory treats!
Jess made cupcakes and we sang and my little bug (who isn’t so little anymore) blew out the candles. I love his dirty face and impish grin in this photo, it just sums up his personality so perfectly.
So it couldn’t be the birthday we would have preferred but it sure was a special day anyway.
Happy Birthday, Jackie! We all love you to the moon and back!
Today I have a watercolor (created with the Waterlogue app, not handpainted by me) of the cake that Hannah got me for my birthday. It was funfetti, with lots of sprinkles and it was delicious. Jackie and I mayyyyyyy have dug in a bit with our fingers before it was cut and served . . . I say you’re never too old for a smash cake!
Happy Wednesday, friends!
Thank you all so much for the birthday love and wishes yesterday, it was truly fabulous to read all of your comments! Dale is all puffed up with pride at your kind words about his post, too.
I have to admit that the things he wrote took me a little by surprise. Not the stuff about what we did over the weekend, that was a mere recap. But that stuff at the end . . . about how he appreciates me and recognizes how hard I worked . . . that got me pretty verklempt. And it’s true that I worked pretty hard after his accident. He was fairly helpless for a while and he was in pretty rough shape when he came home from the hospital. Frankly, it was exhausting to be his only caregiver during that time. I also know it was a privilege and I’m so glad to have done it and been able to show up for him in that way. I think we learned a lot about each other and, while it sure wasn’t always pretty, it deepened the level of respect we have for one another in a very meaningful way.
I do take exception to something he wrote though. It was that part about me being the one who holds our family together. He’s got that all wrong because he, my beloved husband, is our glue. He is the center of everything we do together. He’s the one who makes us all laugh, he’s the one who works to hard to take care of us, he’s the one to run an errand or pick up a kid or a loaf of bread. He never says no, he rarely complains, and he (unlike me) does it all with a cheerful heart and a smile on his face.
I suppose the bottom line is that we are well matched and we know it. Maybe it’s because we’d both been hurt before. Maybe it’s because we came to this relationship with open hearts and clear expectations. Or maybe it’s simply the hand of fate.
I’m not even sure it matters.
I’m just grateful for all of it.