May is Mental Health Awareness Month and today I’m sharing 3 things that are on my mind about mental health.

1. I have seen a therapist off and on since I was 18 and a freshman in college. At that time, my brother had just died, my mother was borderline suicidal, I was terribly homesick (it was actually displaced grief) and I pretty quickly recognized that I needed help. I’m so grateful that I was able to talk with someone on campus, not just because it helped me with my mental health at that time, but also because I learned at an early age that therapy is a game changer. I also saw a therapist after my mother died, Dale and I worked with a marriage therapist to help with issues as we blended our family, and I started seeing a therapist again shortly after Randy committed suicide. For me, therapy is the work of a lifetime and it’s something that not only helps me, it’s something I enjoy.
2. Everybody can benefit from therapy. Yes, I said everybody. You don’t have to have gone through terrible things, although I have. You don’t have to be plagued with anxiety, although I am. You don’t have to have been through divorce and grief and trauma, although those are all things I have experienced. You simply have to have a brain. When Dale was in the hospital after his accident, the social worker came to his room to see if he wanted to discuss his feelings about what happened to him. Dale told her that he really didn’t remember what happened and that he didn’t therapy. She point blank told him: everyone with a brain needs therapy. It’s something that has stuck with me ever since.
3. We need to be open about our experiences with mental health. I’m not saying you need to write a blog or a book or go on local cable and discuss your trauma. But I am saying that sharing your experience with a trusted friend or family member is a good idea. Not only will it help you to process your feelings, it may also help them to understand you better. And it will illustrate to them that you aren’t afraid to talk about your mental health and, in doing so, it may help them to open up about their own struggles. I was so proud of my sister-in-law for her honesty and openness about Randy’s suicide. We had many many people reach out to us and thank us for being truthful about how Randy died and then going on to share about their own family or friends who had also committed suicide. Getting it out in the open is freeing. When someone we know is diagnosed with cancer we are immediately on board with cards and a meal train and tons of support. If that same person is diagnosed with a mental illness, we either don’t know because it’s private, or, if we do know, we feel awkward about addressing it. Let’s end the stigma and talk about it.

I’m not a doctor and my experiences as described here are all first hand and anecdotal. I hope you will consider what I have shared and use it to enhance how you deal with mental health . . . either your own or someone else’s.

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Today I’m sharing with all of you my initial experience with something many of us will go deal with as we get older . . . adjusting to progressive lenses.

1. The background: I have worn glasses for nearsightedness since I was in my late 20s. My prescription isn’t very strong and hasn’t really changed much in 30 years, but I always wear my glasses for driving, going to the movies (not that I’ve been to the movies in over two years) and attending live performances. I rarely wear my glasses at home or at work. However, I recently realized that I’ve been squinting at my computer screen for the last little while. I can still read (just about) everything on the monitor but it’s not as sharp as it used to be. I called to set up an appointment with my ophthalmologist and got a date for the end of . . . wait for it . . . November. I decided that was unacceptable so last week I made an appointment with a local optometrist associated with LensCrafters.
2. The verdict: The exam was very thorough and everyone was super nice. The nearsightedness in my right eye has actually improved and I have 20/20 vision in that eye. My left eye, however, has astigmatism and is still mildly nearsighted. And due to my age, I now have presbyopia. I’m ahead of the curve by not experiencing this until the age of 56 but . . . here we are. My initial thought was to just get 2 pairs of glasses, one for distance and one for close work. The nice lady at LensCrafters, though, suggested I try progressive lenses. I shared my concerns about adjusting to them and she assured me it would be easy and I’d be used to them in 3 days or less. I picked them up on Tuesday after work.
3. The results: I’m one day in and, frankly, I don’t love them. The distance is fine, the close up is pretty good but it’s hard to find the sweet spot, and the midline (which is what I need for computer work) is not good at all. I’ve tried lowering my monitors and that helped some but yesterday I wound up not really wearing them at work at all. It’s nice when driving because I can both see the road and the dashboard (with my old glasses anything up close was blurry) but walking around and turning my head is very odd as everything sort of . . . undulates. I think my experience is pretty typical but I’m not 100% convinced that it’s just a matter of adjusting to them and I can’t help but wonder if they just aren’t right for my particular situation. Time will tell, I guess.

And that’s my initial experience with progressive lenses. If you’ve been down this road I would welcome any advice you have. In the meantime, I’ll be over here, tilting my head up and down and trying to find the focal point.

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It’s been a bit since I shared about Fred and George so let’s take care of that today.

George’s fur continues to be much softer than Fred’s and he has gotten even darker. He has markings like his mother, a Bengal Siamese mix but he’s big like his father. Fred is more of a traditional Siamese, with a dark face mask and he’s small like his mother. I am fascinated by how genetics have played out in these two.

They love to play with any toys that have feathers attached. And they frequently (sometimes within minutes) lose those toys under the stove. And then they sit there and wait for Dale to get down on his hands and knees with a yardstick and fish their toys back out. It’s hilarious. But also a pain in the ass.

A few other random things: they can jump . . . really high! They use the scratching post regularly. They eat bugs. They are very snuggly and have gotten much better about sleeping on the bed without waking us up. They are super social and friendly with anyone that comes to our house. I sometimes share funny videos of them on my TikTok page. They make us laugh and bring us a lot of joy.

And that’s the update on Fred and George. If you wrote a post for today please include your link below. Thanks, as always, to those of you who write and link your posts.

In keeping with the theme this week, here are 3 random things I’m thinking about . . .

1. Traffic on my morning commute. This is not something I normally ever think about, however, there is some road work happening that is creating a detour on to the roads that I drive to and from work. It’s not a big deal but yesterday it added 6 minutes to my drive time and, to say that I was annoyed would be an understatement. All this really means is that I need to remember to be grateful for the super easy drive to work I have been making for the past 22 years.
2. I am itching to garden. It’s still a little soon but the urge is SO STRONG right now. I want to plant some new ground phlox and I’ve got dahlia tubers that I ordered last fall that arrived the other day and more. The smart thing to do right now would be to work on the bed by the deck because I’ve been neglecting it for years (and it shows) but the fun thing to do would be to plant.new.things.
3. Paul Simon. I am listening to Miracle and Wonder thanks to Bonny and Kym’s hearty recommendations and it is a delight. I’m fascinated by Simon’s career and also by the fact that he can’t remember when he wrote many of his early songs. You’d think, if you wrote hits like Bridge Over Troubled Water and The Sounds of Silence that it would have been a light bulb moment that would stick in your head but that’s just not the case here. If you have 5 hours to spare I highly recommend this audiobook and I don’t think you will be disappinted.

And that’s all for me this Thursday. If you wrote a post for today (and most of you don’t do this anymore so I’m seriously considering dropping the inlinkz thing [hint: it’s not free] next time it comes up for renewal) please add your link below.

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Let’s do another random Thursday, hmmmm? The first one might even be a little . . . ranty!

1. It frosts my ass when drivers on the highway fail to merge for a lane closure. I was driving to a meeting yesterday and they were doing work on the highway and the left lane was closed. This was announced with a sign WAY AHEAD of the actual closure. I was already in the right hand lane so I stayed put but, to my dismay, cars continued to pass me on the left and they didn’t merge until the lane was literally closing. I think this is the equivalent of cutting in front of someone in line and, if you wouldn’t do it at the local Dunks then you shouldn’t do it on Rte 24 either. Ironically, one of the drivers who passed me was headed to the same meeting I was. I wanted to say something but I managed to hold my tongue.
2. Our landscapers came this week and made our yard look terrific. It’s been pretty rough out front since we had the tree taken down last year and Dale had a bunch of loam delivered to level things out there. (I’ll just say that didn’t go well and leave it at that.) But now we’ve had more dirt delivered and it has been leveled and spread and seeded. We purchased a Kousa Dogwood and that has been planted. The beds have been freshly edged and mulch has been spread and things are looking ready for spring planting . . . which I am itching to do but need to hold off for a bit longer.
3. I’ve been listening to audiobooks more frequently lately. I’ve cut back some on the podcasts I listen to and that gives me more car time for books instead. I tend to gravitate to non-fiction for audiobooks and I’ve recently listened to a great memoir, In Love by Amy Bloom and two books on race and social justice, How the Word is Passed by Clint Smith and The Sum of Us by Heather McGhee. I’m open to suggestions for more great non-fiction so feel free to tell me your favorite in the comments.

And that’s a wrap for this week’s three things. If you wrote a post for today, please add your link below.

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